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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 26, 2003 22:14:12 GMT -5
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by." - Douglas Adams.
"Unus, sed leo!" [One, but a lion!] - Aisopos (Fabulae 194).
"»Stay« is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary." - Bronson Allcott.
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." - Dave Barry.
"Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours." - M. Berle.
"Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair." - George Burns.
"An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less." - Nicholas Murray Butler.
"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake." - W.C. Fields.
"When rats leave a sinking ship, where exactly do they think they're going?" - Douglas Gauck.
"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." - J.P. Getty.
"When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities." - Matt Groening.
"I'm gonna live forever, or die trying." - Joseph Heller (Catch 22).
"Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand." - Benny Hill.
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 26, 2003 22:13:21 GMT -5
All your base are belong to us
May the smile on your face Come straight from your heart
Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry
Maybe this world is another planet's hell
A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be somewhere else
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans
Most good judgement comes from experience. Most experience comes from bad judgement.
You can't cheat an honest man
One slip, and down the hole we fall It seems to take no time at all
Does the noise in my head bother you?
I know a million ways To always pick the wrong thing to say
I must be an acrobat To talk like this and act like that
Every rose has its thorn.
Sister Luck is screaming somebody else's name
It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help
It's no secret that a liar won't believe in anyone elser
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 26, 2003 22:12:19 GMT -5
Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."
"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states"
"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation"
"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility"!
I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!
"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."
If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
Thank-you for visiting reality, come again........... Now entering your life, welcome
The entire world's a stage; I didn't get cast!
Consciousness- that annoying time between naps
Suburbia - where they cut down trees and name streets after them
"Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ass"
I love him, O yes I do, He's for me, not for you, And if by chance you take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face!
"God made mud, God made dirt, God made guys so girls could flirt!"
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons!
For you are crunchy And taste good with ketchup
Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
"Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died"
Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
"Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died"
Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
It takes 42 muscels to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger and say bite me in a female dogy tone!
Every morning is the dawn of a new error
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay
Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either
Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved
Dain bramaged
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny Beware of programmers who carry screwdriver OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO A repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) A Laundromat: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHING WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 26, 2003 22:10:45 GMT -5
History repeats itself. It's never too late. It's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease. Let bygones be bygones. Life begins at forty. Life's not all beer and skittles. No rest for the wicked. Put your best foot forward. Rome wasn't built in a day. There's always more fish in the sea. There's no such thing as bad publicity. We've arrived, and to prove it we're here. When the cat's away the mice will play. Worrying never did anyone any good. You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Youth is wasted on the young.
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 26, 2003 22:08:44 GMT -5
hahahahaha Young wood makes a hot fire. Your neighbor's apples are the sweetest. Youth does not mind where it sets its foot. Youth sheds many a skin. The steed (horse) does not retain its speed forever. You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. "Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me.". A person is known by the company he keeps. A watched pot never boils. Count you blessings. Doubt is the beginning not the end of wisdom. Every man has his price. Finders keepers, losers weepers. Good things come to those who wait. It takes one to know one. It goes without saying.
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 23, 2003 20:14:55 GMT -5
or this
Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks? Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on? If you wore a teflon suit, could you ever end up in a sticky situation? How fast do hotcakes sell? If you mated a bull dog and a crapsu, would it be called a bullcrap? Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? Does the President have to pay taxes? Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on christmas lights? If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair? If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them? Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts? If Jimmy crackes corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front? Isn't it kinda ominous to put your tax returns in the mail box and put up the little red flag? What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F but no E. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ? Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary? What do you call a female daddy long legs? If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages? Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? If a transport truck carrying a load of cars gets into a car accident, does it increase the number of the cars in the pile-up? In France do people just ask for toast and get French toast? or do they have to ask for American toast? Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop? Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year? If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound ? Why are SOFTballs hard? Do vampires get AIDS? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps? Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring? If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery? Is French kissing in France just called kissing? Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air? Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"? What do people in China call their good plates?
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 23, 2003 20:11:16 GMT -5
or this
Why do the call the angel of death an angel if all it does is bring pain and suffering? Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up? If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm? If an anarchist group attained political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government? If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you? Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests? Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place? Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running foward? If you tell someone they are being judgmental arnt you being judgmental yourself? Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body? How come no matter what color the liquid is the froth is always white? Why do British people never sound British when they sing? Why do they call them guidance counselors when all counselors do is offer guidance? Why do they call it "head over heels in love" If our head is always over our heels? Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane? Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell? How do they get those boats in those glass bottles? Why would superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can fly? Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? How did the headless horseman know where he was going? Why do they call it an escalator if it takes you down? Why is it called football when you hardly use your feet? How come some Little Debbie snack cakes come in a twin pack and others are wrapped individually? Do cows drink milk? Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name? If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? Since we see little birdies when we just get knocked out, what do little birdies see when they just get knocked out?? What is a male ladybug called?
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 23, 2003 20:07:39 GMT -5
think about this
Where did hamsters live before we put them in cages as a pet? Why do people say "no offense" when they're about to offend someone? Why do they have the back pain medicine on the bottom shelf at the pharmacy? They have a show called "Unsolved Mysteries." What other kind of mysteries are there? Do they make coffins wider for dead fat people or is it a 1 size fits all kind of thing? If Santa lives at the North Pole... where does the Easter bunny live? Does Jell-o EVER go bad? There usually isn’t an expiration date on it? When the person who writes the obituaries dies, who writes their obituary? Why do old men have hair in their ears? Why are buttons on guys' shirts on a different side than girls' shirts? If bunnies don't lay eggs why is it on Easter that we hide eggs from the Easter Bunny? Why are things typed up but written down? How come u can kill a deer and put it on your wall but its a illegal to keep them as a pet? Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing? In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end? If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound? If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? What does OK actually mean? what does the K in K-mart actually stand for? Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down? Why can't you eat pancakes for dinner? Why do donuts have holes? Why do the numbers on a phone go one way and the numbers on the calculator go the other? Why don't you hear thunder with heat lightning? Is light still faster than sound when it's going through your TV, and if so, when you get a live broadcast from China or something shouldn't all the sounds come after the actions? Do the different "M&M's"® colors taste different? If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days? If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard? If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles? Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill? Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"? Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille? How do you handcuff a one-armed man? Why is the abbreviation for pound lb. when l or b isn't in the word pound?
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 9, 2003 18:50:07 GMT -5
oh and when u get a chance get on aim
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 9, 2003 18:46:58 GMT -5
and i dont realy have a responce to wat people say
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 9, 2003 18:19:56 GMT -5
im jus trainin
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 9, 2003 18:19:19 GMT -5
i will evinchaly but not now
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 9, 2003 18:17:52 GMT -5
Rome was not built in a day. Seek counsel of him who makes you weep, and not of him who makes you laugh. Set a beggar on horseback, and he 'll out ride the Devil. Set a thief to catch a thief. Silence was never written down. Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can get. Sit a beggar at your table and he will soon put his feet on it. Six hours' sleep for a man, seven for a woman and eight for a fool. Small children give you headache; big children heartache. Some people are masters of money, and some its slaves. Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the time I am being carried on great wings across the sky. Sorrow for a husband is like a pain in the elbow, sharp and short. Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them. Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. Stars are not seen by sunshine.
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 9, 2003 18:16:32 GMT -5
One joy scatters a hundred griefs. One of these day is none of these days. One should go invited to a friend in good fortune, and uninvited in misfortune. One swallow maketh not a summer. One woman never praises another. Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches. Out of the frying pan into the fire. It's an ill wind that blows no good. Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet. Patience is poultice for all wounds. Patience is the best medicine. People live in each other's shelter. Pigs might fly, but they are most unlikely birds. Politics is a rotten egg; if broken, it stinks. Poor men seek meat for their stomach, rich men stomach for their meat. Power lasts ten years; influence not more than a hundred. Practice makes perfect. Praise the young and they will blossom
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Post by shogunflt000 on Sept 9, 2003 18:15:57 GMT -5
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done today. Night is the mother of council. No man limps because another is hurt. No man ought to look a given horse in the mouth. No rose without a thorn, or a love without a rival. No time like the present. Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. Not wine...men intoxicate themselves; Not vice...men entice themselves. Nothing dries sooner than tears. Nothing is as burdensome as a secret. Nothing is impossible to a willing heart. One beggar at the door is enough. One cannot shoe a running horse. One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. One flower will not make a garland. One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade. One good turn deserves another
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