The Fox Curse Chapter three.

[~*Hieislove*~]

Chapter 3

Hitori was in his fox form and the eye patch was sagging on him. Yoko looked at Hitori and laugh but then stopped when he saw Hitori eye glaring at him.
“You should put the small one on Hitori”. Yoko went to pick Hitori up but then was bite in the hand. “Go away. I'm thinking” Hitori went off to the pond. “I promise my mom to go to my sister. But I can’t go now, it would take three days to find her, and I can’t send Yoko, what if Kono comes and he’s not here.” Hitori was talking to himself out loud. He then heard something behind him. He looked back and saw Kono with blood all over his body, he was bleeding and Hitori can tell he already lost a great amount of blood.
Hitori’s was shock. “Kono…” Kono stared at Hitori. “You have a sister.” Hitori was surprised that Kono knew that. “Yes I do.” Kono sat down and when he did blood squirted out of his mouth. “I tried to help her.” Hitori was confused. “What are you talking about?” Kono picked up Hitori. “Let me go!!!” Kono was shaking. “I did all I could without hurting Kira.” Hitori looked at Kono, he was crying softly. “Who the hell is Kira?” Kono patted Hitori’s head. “She’s my younger sister…she doesn't know that though.” Hitori looked at Kono, he’s eyes was turning colors. “So what do I have to do with it?” “Your sister is with Akito” Then Kono placed Hitori down and walked away.
Hitori was shocked. “How did Akito know I have a sister?” He was yelling at Yoko. “I don’t know Hitori, not even I knew till now.” Hitori was still in his fox form and he was biting Hideki. “Child stop that!” Hitori bite harder “I am not a child.” Then Hitori was slap with one of Hideki’s branches. Yoko grabbed Hitori. “Hitori you have no right to get mad at us.” Yoko was pointing at Hitori. Yoko thought to himself. “He’s not even scared; when my dad yelled at me I almost wet myself. What the hell did he see when Kono came and how come I didn’t sense any of Kono’s powers?”
Hitori looked at Yoko. “You don’t understand, when Kono came he was badly hurt. Who wounded him that bad? Yoko patted Hitori softy. “I don’t know maybe Akito.” Hitori walked off. “I think there’s more to Kono then we think, but what we have to worry about is getting me stronger and finding Akito’s hideout.” Yoko walked over to the small fox that contain the soul of a young demon boy that was so innocent and didn’t much deserve anything but love. “Hideki, I will be at your side all the way, so tell me what I can do, I would do anything for you.” Hitori walked over to the small lake. “I’m going to take a small walk.” Hideki shook a little “Make sure your back when you change” Hitori walked away.
Yoko and Hideki were left alone in the dark depths of the demon world. “Yoko may I ask why you care for Hitori so much, you just meet him a couple of days ago.” Yoko played with his hair; it felt weird from all the dirt it contains. “I once had a child about his age. He was taken away from me by humans.” “Did you ever get him back?” Yoko took out the small knife that he carried. “This is his knife…just like the one Hitori’s has.” Yoko started to cry. “No I didn’t get him back” Hitori was in the shadows listening to the cries of Yoko. “They killed him…hang him for being half demon and half other.” Hitori jump out of the shadows and jump on Yoko’s lap. Yoko was shocked “Hitori…what are you doing?” Hitori looked deep into Yoko’s eyes. “I never had a father before…can you be my father Yoko.” Yoko smiled, he was so happy he started to cry a little. “Yes Hitori I will love to be your father. Now I will be the best father ever” Hitori changed back to his human form, it has 5 am already thought Yoko. “I bet you will.” Hitori fell into Yoko’s lap.
Yoko was shocked. Hideki spoke with emotions in his voice “What happen to the child.” Yoko turned Hitori over he had a green color liquid flowing out of his mouth. “Poison…Kono poison Hitori…” Then there was a rustle in the trees. “No I didn’t” Kono rose from the trees and out of the shadows. “It seems this child has a habit on rising in when he’s not wanted.” Kono glared at Hideki. “Don’t challenge me, I think you do want me here, I know what's wrong with him.” Yoko grabbed Kono’s shirt and brought him face to face. Yoko glared hard at Kono. “Is that suppose to scare me because I don’t see anything that I need to worry about.” Yoko grew angry at Kono. “Watch what you say boy.” Kono grin, his grin was not one from fear but amusement.

[~*Hieislove*~]

Kono walked over to Hitori. Hitori was on the ground and he was staring on Kono. Kono bend down to Hitori. “Poor child. Do you know what is happening to you” Hitori didn’t speak. “I take that as a no.” Hitori tried to reach for his sword but his hands were crush by Kono’s feet. “You won’t need that.” Yoko grabbed Kono. “Leave my son alone.” Hitori heard the words that Yoko spoke and then tried to get up. “Yoko don’t pay attention to him, it’s between me and him.” Hitori fell back down. Kono smiled. “Protecting him aren’t you Hitori…hah” Kono took out his daggers. “You’re being possessed by a ghost.” Hitori’s chest rose. Hitori spoke but it wasn’t really him. “I will take this boys body and kill you all.” Kono smiled at Hitori. “I don’t think so.”
Kono stabbed Hitori in the chest, and a black mist rose from the wound. “That should take care of it.” Kono walked away. “Goodbye Hitori. I will give you sometime to rest now. In three days I will come and we will fight. If you are not better then what you are now I will kill you, if you are better I will fight you till you get knocked out.” After that Kono left and Hitori stood there on the ground bleeding. Yoko ran to Hitori. “Hitori are you o.k” Hitori stared at Yoko. “I’ll be o.k, wrap me up, we must practice.” Yoko wrapped up Hitori. “There you go Hitori, but I think you should rest a little before you go train.” Hitori got up and fell back down. “But I have to train.” Hideki spoke quietly. “My child you must not train, it will be too high of a risk. You can train with me, by using your mind. I will ask you simple questions then they will get harder. Now Yoko will got get use some food.” Yoko smiled then left to go get food.
Hitori was staring into the sky. “Ask me the questions.” “If you were in trouble and then again Yoko was in trouble, what will you do?” Hitori laugh. “I would save Yoko. “No child. You just save yourself first. Yoko is a grown man; he can take care of himself. Rule one; one’s self before others in a fight till death. Why you ask? If you the one the person is fighting mainly, then that person thinks you’re the strongest in the group or one that is the most challenged for him or her. So if you die then there is no bit of chance for any one else. So remember that Hitori.” Hitori grunted. “I hate rules. How about you teach me the basic in structure and things like what kills what instead of rules. I don’t do the whole rules thing.” Hideki was shock. “Fine if that’s the way you want it my child then so be it.” Hitori smiled. “Now the next thing you need to know is what kills what. Fire kills water. Water kills thunder. Thunder kills earth. Earth kills fire. Black kills all.” Hitori smirked. “I like the sound of thunder of black magic. But Hitori I can control water but I don’t produce water like a true water demon.” “Yes I know, that’s the question for me, I'm still thinking on that. I will tell you when I find out. Now, if you want to learn magic I will stick with the basic first, it so happens to be that I know thunder magic, I can teach you if you like.”
Hitori jumped up and hit himself on Hideki’s branch. “Ouch ...but hell ya Hideki you sure can.” Hideki laughed at how excited Hitori got over learning new magic. “And my child, it will be good to fight against Kono. Three days will be enough to teach who one or two moves.” Hitori got up and punch the air. “Let me get warmed up first.” Hideki laugh at how small Hitori was and he thought to himself. “So young…so mature…so strong…so innocent…Hitori your going to be the best fighter there is.”
Hitori turned to Hideki. “What's first?” “Well first you need a thunder charm, after using that for a while, your body will get use to the thunder and will be able to be forth thunder without a charm. Go under that big branch over there and bring out my bag.” Hitori looked over at the branch, it was dusty and dark. Hitori walked over to the branch and dug his arm inside; he felt something and brought it out. It was a black bag. “What is this?” Hideki laugh. “Well I was a fighter and a traveler, so that is my bags and all the things I obtain.” Hitori open the bag. “You mean steal. I heard about your pass.” Hideki was silences. “Well take out that brown box, my charms should be in there. Hitori did what Hideki was told. He opens the box and took out the charm that had a little thunder sign on it. Hideki’s branch shook.
Hitori put it around his neck. “You have a charm for everything. I want them all.” “Child you must take one at a time, you will learn thunder first then maybe fire.” Hitori got up and tried to create thunder. “It’s not working.” “Well you need to imagine that you are creating then it will come to life.” Hitori stared into the sky. He closed his eyes and started to imagine thunder coming from his body. Then with a start, a spark rose from his hand. Scared Hitori stop and open his eyes, but the spark was still there and it grew stronger and larger. Hitori punch the air and the thunder went flying to the direction he punched. “Fist of thunder. I see we’re a fast learning.” Hitori smiled. “I like it.” Hitori started to practice the punch. One hour passed.
Yoko came in with a wild pig in his hand. Then Yoko saw a ball of thunder coming at him. “What!?” Yoko dodges the ball. Hitori ran to Yoko. “Sorry Yoko I was practicing my thunder attack.” Yoko started at the new charm Hitori wear on his neck. “Where did you get that?” Hitori smiled. “Hideki gave it too me.” Yoko looked at Hideki and smiled. “Well wanna show me that technique but not at me this time.” Hitori laughed playfully on Yoko’s chest. “Sure…dad….” Yoko was shocked. He was glad that Hitori called him dad.
Hitori got up and back away from Yoko. “Watch out now.” Yoko laughed and back away out of Hitori’s way. “FIST OF THUNDER!” A shock of thunder rose from his fist and Hitori punched the air and out came the thunder blasting into mid air. Yoko was shocked. “Wow Hitori that’s awesome. Are you going to use that against Kono?” Hitori glared into the sky. “You bet I am.” Hitori walked to Yoko who was holding the wild pig. “You’re going to cook that or what. I’m hungry.” Yoko laughed and placed the pig down. “We need a fire.” Hitori went to go get wood.
When he came back with wood he placed it in a pile. “Now we need a fire.” Hideki’s branch tap Yoko’s back. “Put this on Hitori.” Hideki gave Yoko the fire charm. “Another attack awesome!” Yoko laughed how Hitori yelled just by hearing that he is going to learn another attack. Yoko put the charm on Hitori. “Now I have to imagine it like the thunder.” Hitori closed his eyes and imagine his fist burning with fire. Then again like the thunder attack his fist rose with fire. To Hitori’s surprise the fire didn’t burn him, he actually didn’t feel anything. Then Hitori punch towards the pile of wood. “Fist of fire!” Then the pile of wood burst into flames.

[~*Hieislove*~]

Hitori smiled. “Now that is awesome.” Hideki slapped Hitori in the head. “But when you fight Kono you will use thunder. Thunder kills earth.” Hitori grin. “Of course.” Then they started to cook the pig.
Three days passed. Hitori has been training all day and night with Yoko and Hideki. Hideki didn’t know if he was strong. Now he waits for Kono to arrive and lead him to his death. Yoko glanced at Hitori and saw the look in Hitori’s eyes. His eyes were all black and cold; filled with something that Yoko couldn’t figure out. Yoko walked over to Hitori. “What's wrong?” Hitori glanced up and back down. “I'm not ready. He will kill me.” Then the ground rose and Hitori was thrown into the air and slammed into a tree. Yoko was pushed down and pinned to the floor by trees. Kono walked out of the shadows. “Did you miss me already?”
Hitori got up. “I see you’re the type of guy who attacks from the back. No respect.” Kono took out his dagger. “We don’t have time to chat. Are you ready little Hitori, because this will be the worst fight you ever imagine.” Hitori took out his sword. “I have been ready.”
Kono smiled. “Well let’s begin then.” Kono motioned he rocks beneath him to rise and carry him up. Hitori motioned the water from the little pond behind him. Hitori and Kono faced each other; none with fear. Kono threw his dagger at Hitori and it went flying towards Hitori. “What…this is new.” Hitori waved his hand and water splashed over the dagger. When Hitori looked the dagger was already stabbed into his gut. Hitori screamed in pain. Kono frowned. “Looks like you didn’t get better after all. You know Hitori.” Kono stood up straight and stared at Hitori. “What.” Kono went to Hitori and pulled out his dagger. “I thought you were a type of person that never gives up; but now I see you’re the type of person that gives up when your surroundings seem horrible you just give up without a thought in mind.” Hitori got up and wasn’t moving. “…Fist…of…Thunder!!” Then as practice a ball of thunder went flying towards Kono. To everyone surprise Kono smiled then got hit with the ball of thunder. Kono fling into mid air and was heading for the ground. Kono and him were so high up. Hitori glanced at the ground then to Kono and thought. “He’s not going to make it…” Hitori motion his water to go get Kono! The water rushed to Kono and caught him before he fell into a painful death. Kono was shock. “Why did you save me?” Hitori laughed. “If you were to die then who would I fight every week?”
Kono motion his rocks to bring him down to the ground. Kono freed Yoko. Kono was staring motionless at the ground. Kono took his dagger in his hand and threw it in his pocket. Kono looked at Hitori. “I hate you.” Hitori backed up. “I saved your life and you hate me.” Kono smiled. “Yes.” Then Kono motions the ground under Hitori to rise. Sending Hitori into the pond Kono smiled. Kono walked over to Yoko and motion the trees to slam down on him. Yoko screamed in pain while blood flowed out of his mouth. Hitori swim out of the water and was frozen when he saw Kono hurting Yoko. Hitori held his fist up. “Black house of hell.” Then when Kono heard those words he instantly turned around. “No.” The ground under Kono began to turn into a black hole. Then the black hole rose all around Kono. Kono’s face turned pure evil. “I don’t think so.” Kono motion the trees to fall down and covered the hole. The trees were automatically turned to dust. Kono frowned. “If you kill me then Yoko will die also. You serious need to learn the basics of fighting before you do the moves. Yoko is right by me. If you aim the attack at me, he will die also. Control you angry and hit the books again. You still need to learn true fighting skills.” Hitori was shocked; he looked at Yoko who was staring right back at him. Hitori fell to the ground. With no sign Kono left and there wasn’t a sign left.
“I'm sorry Yoko. I wasn’t thinking.” Yoko laughed a small weak laugh. “Its o.k. but hey you learn a new move.” Hideki was waving his branch in angry. “I told you child that you should learn the basics and I told you not to take the black magic charm.” Hitori grin. “I didn’t; I'm not wearing the charm. I'm not wearing any charm. I did that all by myself. Well not really I don’t know how I did it but I did.” Hideki and Yoko was shock. “All right son!! That was awesome Hitori. Though I hate to say Kono is right you do need to learn the basic and learn to control your anger.”
Hitori frowned. “Well I really don’t care what Kono says. I have every right to be angry, and with that anger I'm going to kill him.” Hitori walked to the shadow. “I know your there somewhere Kono. I can smell your disgusting scent of evil that’s fills the air every time you’re around.” Then there was an echo. “Hahahah Hitori maybe that is you that you smell.” Hitori smiled. “We’ll see.” Hitori looked around and tried to locate Kono. “You won’t find me Hitori; I’ll be the one who finds you.” Hitori walked back to Yoko and Hideki.
Many hours passed and Hitori was in his fox form. Yoko was playing with Hitori’s tail. Hitori and Hideki were asleep. “Now Hitori you be a good boy and learn to control that attitude of yours.” “But Yoko Hitori’s attitude is what makes him who he is.” Yoko looked where he heard the voice and when he turned he saw Kono smiling. “I'm just here to check up on Hitori.” Yoko hugged Hitori tighter. “He is sleeping. Leave him alone.” Kono laughed. “I said that I'm only here to see if Hitori is o.k” Yoko glared at Kono. “You know I don’t think you’re as tough as you act.” Kono laughed hard. “Hah funny Yoko. I thought I was the one that everyone hated.” Kono walked towards Hitori. “Your right though. Well a little. I'm not who you think I am. All I'm here for is to tell you where Akito is. He is in the Dragons den.” Yoko was silence.
Kono walked away. Hitori woke up. “Who was that?” Yoko patted Hitori’s head. “That was Kono and he told me that Akito is in the dragons den.” Hideki woke up. “What. The dragons den is right by here.” Hitori jumped up. “That’s how Kono comes back and forth so quickly. Hitori smiled. “Bastard” Yoko grin. “Now Hitori what do you want to do.” Hitori glanced at Hideki. “We are going to go there and get my sister out of course.”


Theres chapter three. And when you guys say you need to sperate your work I really dont get it so I just didnt pay attention to it in this chapter it was messing up my writing syste

Review for chapter four:
Hitori goes to demons den but is stopped by a young lady ...

[rjxsapri®]

Well, I thought I would never finish reading this, but I like it. Still, the separation thing would have helped me read it faster....

[SockPerson]

You still need to separate the dialogue, like:

Hitori was in his fox form and the eye patch was sagging on him. Yoko looked at Hitori and laugh but then stopped when he saw Hitori eye glaring at him.
“You should put the small one on Hitori.”
Yoko went to pick Hitori up but then was bite in the hand.
“Go away. I'm thinking.”
Hitori went off to the pond.
“I promised my mom to go to my sister. But I can’t go now, it would take three days to find her, and I can’t send Yoko, what if Kono comes and he’s not here.”
------------------------------------------------------------

Just focus on getting it somewhat like that.

[rjxsapri®]

yep, and if you feel separating while you write messes up with your style, just write it the way you can and then just make some changes to it

[~*Hieislove*~]

*crying* I give up. I can never do it right

[Link]

awww.....dont feel bad i actually liked it.

[~*Hieislove*~]

Its just I never get it right,

[rjxsapri®]

The story is awesome, it's just hard to read...but as I said, I recommend you to write it the way it suits you best and then just separate the paragraphs a little.

[SockPerson]

*Hieislove* said:

*crying* I give up. I can never do it right

Don't feel bad. You just need to practice at it, like anything else.

I can tell you like to write and it wouldn't help you much if I just said "good job," when I know it could be better.

There are lots of things you can do to improve your writing. Hm...maybe I'll make a thread with some tips and such.

Anyway, did you understand what I was saying? Bah, looking back on it I could have explained it better.

[~*Hieislove*~]

SockPerson said:

Don't feel bad. You just need to practice at it, like anything else.

I can tell you like to write and it wouldn't help you much if I just said "good job," when I know it could be better.

There are lots of things you can do to improve your writing. Hm...maybe I'll make a thread with some tips and such.

Anyway, did you understand what I was saying? Bah, looking back on it I could have explained it better.

That sound like a poem O.o


Though a thread on tips would be nice , and no I didnt understand what you BEEN saying , if I did would you think I'd make the same mistake again?

[SockPerson]

What the hell kind of poems have you been reading.


And, what part of it are you not getting?


Ok, screw what I said about rewriting your sentences. Just focus on getting your structure down first. All you need to do is take some time and analyze it a bit.

It's seriously not hard.

[~*Hieislove*~]

SockPerson said:

What the hell kind of poems have you been reading.


And, what part of it are you not getting?


Ok, screw what I said about rewriting your sentences. Just focus on getting your structure down first. All you need to do is take some time and analyze it a bit.

It's seriously not hard.

Meaning like

Hitori walked to Yoko
"Hey Yoko"
Yoko glanced at Hitori
"Hey kid"

O.o that doesnt make sense to me though

[SockPerson]

Yea, it does look weird.

The reason for that is you wrote it like you were writing a script. It's like you were watching it all happen in a show or something and you were just describing it to someone.

I suggest switching to something more like Gokuromario's format if you wan't something easy to work with.