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Post by SnakeFire on Mar 7, 2005 18:59:32 GMT -5
This was a very good story...  I wanna see more!!! |
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Post by Trunksangel79 on Mar 7, 2005 19:10:04 GMT -5
It seems pretty interesting.  |
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Post by gokuromario on Mar 8, 2005 11:17:00 GMT -5
thanks
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SockPerson
Super Saiyan 2
Where is my mind?
Posts: 544
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Post by SockPerson on Mar 9, 2005 2:08:04 GMT -5
Haha, I think the name Zuro sounds too much like Zoro..lol (I'm still not used to it, but thats my problem  ) There are a few grammatical errors, and you described some stuff a little TOO creative, like: "A distance of 300 yards was conquered before he met up with one of his class mates," That one just got me wondering what the point of it was. When you do stuff like that it's mostly to drag out the story or accentuate a situation. This instance, it just seemed to be there for the sake of being there, when you should have spent more time on actual plot development. Aside from that it seems like an ok start. |
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Post by gokuromario on Mar 9, 2005 12:14:24 GMT -5
well thanks for your comments and yes i did kinda mean for zuro to sound like zoro, i was gonna put zoro at first but its not about zoro is it
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