jstarbob
Super Saiyan 2
Forever has to end sometime...
Posts: 519
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Post by jstarbob on Mar 15, 2005 17:03:27 GMT -5
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Post by Gotetsu© on Mar 16, 2005 0:46:49 GMT -5
d*mn dude it wont even let me go to the site 0_0 can you post any other way? *scratches head*
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jstarbob
Super Saiyan 2
Forever has to end sometime...
Posts: 519
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Post by jstarbob on Mar 16, 2005 13:05:18 GMT -5
Yeah here ya go:
RECONSTRUCTION-
CHAPTER 1
His body was mutilated beyond anything a man could do. His skin had been ripped back on his head to reveal the flesh and muscle partially covering his skull. His mouth was stapled back to reveal his teeth.
“Sadistic bastard!” John said to Max with hatred in his voice.
“John… we will get him.” Max said trying to calm down the policeman.
“Or them” A voice came from behind the detective and policeman.
Max turned to see Monica another detective.
“What the hell does that mean?” Max asked a question while making a statement.
“This murder just happened a couple hours ago.” Monica said. “We may be dealing with a group of killers instead of one.” She continued
“Possibly.” John said with grief.
Then from the corner of his eye, Max saw a shadow wander down an alley near the crime scene.
“Excuse me. I have to leave.” Max said to Monica and John
Max made his way through them and wandered down the alley.
“Where the hell is he going?” John asked Monica.
“I don’t know… he does what ever he wants these days.” Monica replied.
While down the alley Max approached the dark cloaked figure with caution fearing he might have a weapon of some sort.
“Freeze!” Max said while taking out his gun.
The figure stopped but didn’t turn around.
“Turn around!’ Max commanded.
But the figure still refused to turn around.
“I will if you drop the weapon.” The figure finally said with a calm voice.
The detective did so and the figure slowly dropped the cloak and turned around.
He was a male. He had no hair upon his head. His pale skin was enough to make anyone terrified. He had dark eyes and many body peircings.
“Who are you?” Max asked.
“Adonus.” The man replied. “Do you enjoy death? That man over there… did you know him? So you get your kicks off enjoying other peoples work.” Adonus said.
“You killed those people?” Max asked in horror.
“I needed them all for the homecoming of my master.” Adonus said with a smile on his face.
“You sick f**k!” Max replied.
“It really is terrible that he had to die in the first place… but he never was really dead, just sleeping… a long sleep in his bloody grave.” Adonus finished speaking and began to laugh.
He raised his hands and made walls of fire spring up at both ends of the alley so that he could block Max from escaping. Next Adonus brought out a small dagger from his pocket. He placed the dagger on his chest and sliced down. While removing the skin from his chest he begin to laugh. His eyes turned black with white pupils. Beneath the skin was another face in his chest. The face opened his eyes and looked at Max.
“What are you afraid of? Is dying such a big deal?” The face shouted.
Max in panic took out another gun and shot Adonus in the head. Adonus looked at Max. A horn emerged from the spot where Adonus was shot. Then the rest of his skin fell off and his transformation was complete. The face had emerged from the body as a head. Following the head were arms and legs. The demon had ripped its way out of Adonus. Now Adonus stood lying on the ground as a pile of skin.
“Its time to join me.” The demon said.
Max backed off into a corner and fell to the ground. He screamed for help as the hand of the demon extended its self towards Max.
“Don’t be scared Max. I am god.” The demon said finally getting a scream of pain from Max as he ripped his eyes out.
“Your eyes will serve me well. You have pleased your god!” The demon liquefied into blood and made its way through the ground.
A voice echoed in Max head: “I am god… I am god… I am… god”
It wasn’t god who took his eyes… it was a dream nothing more. He now had his eyes back, and when he looked over he was reminded of the horror. The pile of skin who was Adonus was on the ground. Not only that but there was the fire caging him in…
CHAPTER 2
Max felt a rag with warm thick liquid upon his head. He opened his eyes but he was to scared to do anything about what he saw. “Was this a nightmare?” He asked himself. But no, it wasn’t. He was in the hands of Adonus, but wasn’t Adonus dead? This was too much to handle. Max tried to get up but he felt pain in his arms and legs. He looked over and down. To his surprise there were hooks in his hand and feet with chains connecting them to the wall.
“What the hell are you doing?” He said with grief in his voice.
“Close your eyes.” Adonus told him.
Adonus put a blind fold around his head.
“Sleep.” He said in a calm voice to the warn out Max. “This will all be over soon detective.” Adonus said.
Adonus got a knife with writing down the razor. He smiled and placed the knife on Max’s chest. Adonus began to carve symbols into Max. It seemed that Adonus got pleasure out of his screaming.
“One more.” Adonus said with a soft tone.
And he didn’t lie. He carved one last symbol into his chest, and kissed Max’s forehead.
“Passion pleases my god Max. Be happy that he has chosen you.” Adonus removes the blind fold while speaking.
As soon as it was removed Max spit on Adonus.
“You sadistic f**k!” Max yelled. “You’re Crazy!” Max tried to speak more but Adonus put a finger to his mouth.
Adonus smiled.
“I’ll show you.” Adonus said.
He then removed the hooks in Max’s arms and feet. Each removal was followed by a shriek of pain and misery. Then Adonus helped Max off the table he was chained to.
Now getting a better look of the place Max figured they were under ground. The walls were made of reddish dirt and the ceiling was of cement and clay. Max also noticed holes in the wall of dirt which made a door, actually many doors. All that was known to him by getting a closer look at the table was that He and Adonus were in a torture room. Adonus then put barbed wire around Max’s hands to keep him from getting loose. He then pushed Max through the door. They were now in a room similar to the one they were just in, but this room had a pool of blood followed by many hooded men and women surrounding it. They held large daggers (but not sword length) above their heads. They all were muttering something. A ritual was taking place… some type of offering for the god that Adonus talks about so much. And Max knew he was the sacrifice…
CHAPTER 3
They all turned toward Max and Adonus.
“My children! My father is coming home on this wonderful night!” Adonus said with a sadistic type of happiness that sickened Max.
Adonus threw Max toward the ground and kicked him in the stomach when he tried to get up.
“Pain is his happiness!” Adonus kicked him again! “Suffering is his desire!” Adonus kicked him again! “Evil is his God!” Adonus kicked him for the last time.
Max untangled the barbed wire around his wrists while tearing up his hands at the same time. He got up and wrapped it around Adonus’ neck.
“Your gonna take me out of here!” Max said to Adonus.
Adonus smiled.
“Yes.” Adonus said with an unusual tone.
“Don’t f**k with me!” Max screams.
Max backs up into a huge body. He turns around with Adonus. Adonus smiled.
“What the hell.” Max said.
“Ahhh yes my creation!” Adonus said. “The construction!” Adonus finished.
The construction a gruesome giant made of many human body parts grabs Max by the neck and throws him away from Adonus. A couple of demons jump out of the ground and hold him down. Adonus walks over to the struggling Max. One of the demons digs his claws into Max’s arm and draws blood.
“Let go. We need this one to bring him back.” Adonus smiles.
Both demons let go and sink back into the ground.
Adonus lifts up Max by the arm and takes him over to the pool of blood.
“I promised you that you’d meet him. So here you go.” Adonus throws Max into the pull of blood with those last words.
Max remembered now… Adonus said his master was resting in his bloody grave. Before he could get away though Adonus through him into the pool of blood. There is not struggle in the water until Max’s head pops out gasping for air. Two naked female demons pop out of the water and drag him under again.
“He’ll be here soon… our god has returned for us children.” Adonus said with a sparkle in his eye.
His hopes of their master returning made him the happiest man on earth. Soon the demon would return with one thing on his mind… vengence…
TO BE CONTINUED IN: “POOL OF BLOOD”
“Hello I hope you enjoyed my first horror story based on the arts of Clive Barker. I know this is a short tale but it (as you can see) will be continued when I have the time to write another one of course. And I hope to start writing more after this experience turned out well for me based on demons and situations I came up with. I hated The Constructor =/ I will take it our in Part 2. you will finally see Adonus's god which will be bad a** Enjoy my works and look for more soon…”
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Post by ~*Hieislove*~ on Mar 16, 2005 17:20:59 GMT -5
You say its horror but I dont see the horror But anyhow good start, keep it up.
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jstarbob
Super Saiyan 2
Forever has to end sometime...
Posts: 519
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Post by jstarbob on Mar 16, 2005 17:27:43 GMT -5
Really? Ah poop I thought all the demons and blood and cultism would make it kind of mind bending. What was your favorite part? Or what did you like about it? BTW PART 2 is finished but it is not as long. The ocnclusion is going to be a little dissapointing if you liked the character of Max. Adonus fans will get to see more of him, but... i wont give it away =/
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Post by ~*Hieislove*~ on Mar 16, 2005 17:43:52 GMT -5
Really? Ah poop I thought all the demons and blood and cultism would make it kind of mind bending. What was your favorite part? Or what did you like about it? Just becuz it has demons doesnt make it horror I like Max's attitude
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jstarbob
Super Saiyan 2
Forever has to end sometime...
Posts: 519
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Post by jstarbob on Mar 16, 2005 17:48:05 GMT -5
yes of course... but.. ah never mind! It was to be horror for its plot of the cult and everything but I guess you could call it... uhh... hmmm... I dunno the hell with it! Call it comedy if you like =) i dont care. I was going for a nice little tale but maybe its less than that i really dunno ;D
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Post by ~*Hieislove*~ on Mar 16, 2005 17:54:44 GMT -5
I think it more of fantasy then anything.
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jstarbob
Super Saiyan 2
Forever has to end sometime...
Posts: 519
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Post by jstarbob on Mar 16, 2005 18:03:08 GMT -5
probably do you want me to put up part 2? Oh I am writing a YYH fanfic.... I need your help but that is all coming later PM me if you wanna talk bout it
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Post by ~*Hieislove*~ on Mar 16, 2005 18:45:27 GMT -5
Well you already started it off at a good start, it would be a waste of time not to post the second part. So yes you should. and I would be honor to help you.
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jstarbob
Super Saiyan 2
Forever has to end sometime...
Posts: 519
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Post by jstarbob on Mar 16, 2005 19:07:24 GMT -5
Part 2 is up.... =/ I am upset your the only one reading this, but maybe they just havnt gotten around ot it lol ;D
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Post by ~*Hieislove*~ on Mar 16, 2005 19:49:41 GMT -5
Geez you have to wait, people will get around it!
When I first came out with my story it took one whole day for people to read, just be patiences !!
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Post by Son Goshin on Mar 17, 2005 11:11:14 GMT -5
it's pretty good, a lot of blood in it. i'm interseted in seeing who adonus's god is in the next part
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jstarbob
Super Saiyan 2
Forever has to end sometime...
Posts: 519
|
Post by jstarbob on Mar 17, 2005 12:45:59 GMT -5
RECONSTRUCTION PART 2-
Is now up. It has its seperate thread so it should be the next one down after this one. ;D have at it.... I may make RECONSTRUCTION PART 3 since number 2 was one I kinda rushed through =/
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