The F.I. Story Of Radditz *Last Update*

[Little Syxx]

The Fantasticaly Inane Story Of Radditz:Part One

It was another dark, boiling hot and depressing day in Hell as Radditz woke up, ready to face the day. It's been Fourteen years since he was sent to Hell and while some would despise it Radditz actually grew to enjoy it. The main reason being that he was reunited with his family and friends. The fact Hell was actually better than working for the Cold Empire helped a little too.

"Now let's see. What's on today's schedule?" Radditz thought walking over to a calendar on his wall. "Ah here we go, 'Watch T.V., train with Dad, Turles and Nappa, visit Mom, Watch T.V., point and laugh at Frieza, watch T.V., listen to the T.V., get tortured, welcome back Dinner for Brolly, kick Saladaras in the shin, beat up King Piccolo, and roll Frieza up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge'. Another nice, long, fun filled day."

Radditz walked over to his couch, sat down and turned on his T.V., pulling out an extra large bag of 'Kai's Choice' brand potato chips. "Mmmmmm, salty."

He began eating the chips while channel surfing when he suddenly heard a knock at the door. He ignored it but ten knocks later he finnaly decided to get up. When he opened the door he saw someone he did'nt expect to see for a few more decades.

"Well." He said with a smile on his face. "If it is'nt my brother Kakarott."

The sound of applause was heard as Goku scratched his head. "What was that?"

Radditz just shrugged and went to walk back to the couch when he tripped on a chair and the sound of laughter was heard.

"Wow, just like on T.V." Goku laughed walking over to help Radditz up.

"Yeah, I was channel surfing when you knocked on the door."

The two walked over to Radditz's couch and Radditz once again started to look for something to watch.

"So. What 'cha doin' here?" Radditz asked.

"Died again about Seven years ago."

"Again? What is this third time?"

"No, only the second."

"Oh. Well, then why are you down here in Hell?"

"I thought I'd come visit you and maybe see some of the other Saiyans."

Radditz got up and smiled. "Well then brother, you're in luck because it just so happens that's what I'm going to be doing today."

"Really? That's great! Who we seeing?"

"Well, there's Nappa, Turles, Brolly, Brolly's dad, Saladaras and our parents."

"Our parents!?" Goku said hopping out of his seat. "Are you serious!?"

"Yep. This'll be your first time meeting them right?"

Goku nodded and began hopping around. "Wow, this'll be so cool! What's our parents names?"

"Well." Radditz said. "Dad's name is Bardock and Mom's name is Zuchina. Ofcourse I always call them Mom and Dad."

"Well, when are we going?" Goku asked.

"As soon as 'Good Moring Hell' is over." Radditz replied pointing towards the T.V.

The two sat down and Radditz once again started eating his chips and waching T.V. After a minute or two Goku tapped Radditz on the shoulder.

"Can I have some?"

"...No."

***********************************************************************

Three hours later 'Good Morning Hell' was over and Goku and Radditz were heading towards the Saiyan training grounds. After Vegeta-sei was destroyed the Saiyans who arrived in Hell took over a small section of it so they could continue to train and get stronger. While none of them have reached Super Saiyan they were all still alot stronger than they were when the planet blew up.

"Hey Turles, Nappa, look who's here!" Radditz shouted as he and Goku entered the training grounds.

"Kakarott!" Turles said with a wave. "When did you die? Did I somehow severly injure you during our battle?"

"No."

"d*mn."

"Well then what are you doing here?" Nappa asked.

"I died in a battle."

"Really? So, you died in a battle eh? Did you're opponent paralyze you then watched as your partner vaporised you for being crippled because he's a little jerk with a stupid hair cut who always ate the last dougnut on our patrols and always makes me do the work because he's lazy?"

"Um, no. My opponent blew himself up."

"Ah."

The four stood around for a few minutes doing nothing inparticular untill they noticed another Saiyan heading towards them. Wearing a red head band, the standard Saiyan armor and green pants he walked over and looked at Goku, a confused look on his scared face.

"Radditz, who is this?"

"That's Kakarott dad."

Goku got a big smile on his face and held out his arms. "Hi dad!" He shouted giving Bardock a big hug.

"Are you sure this is your brother?"

Radditz nodded.

"d*mn it." Bardock sighed. "Put me down!"

Goku put down his father and backed up a little. "Sorry dad."

"Tell me Kakarott, you're a Super Saiyan are you not?"

"Well, yeah."

The other Saiyans looked at him in awe.

"You're a Super Saiyan!?" Turles asked. "I thought Brolly was the only one."

"Nope. I can turn Super Saiyan. So can Vegeta and my son Gohan back on Earth." Goku told them.

"You're kid can turn Super Saiyan too!?"

"Yep. He even can turn Super Saiyan Two."

"That's what I just said."

"I meant the number Two."

"Oooooooooooooo." Nappa said as the others nodded in approval.

"Sounds like you've been living an interesting life Kakarott. Though I am disappointed you did'nt complete you mission." Bardock said. "Not to mention the fact if we were on Vegeta-sei and you had half breeds they'd be killed at birth."

"Really? Why?"

Bardock shrugged. "Hell if I know."

"Enough with the talking, let's get training." Radditz said. "Me and Kakarott were planning on visiting mom before I head home to watch 'Good Afternoon Hell'."

"You and you're T.V. You know the radiation from it will screw up your brain cells someday." Turles sighed.

"Oh that's just an old wives tale."

***********************************************************************

The five decided to split into groups. Turles, Nappa, Radditz and Bardock were on one team and Goku was alone.

"I still don't think you can beat me." Goku said as the others warmed up.

"We'll see Kakarott." Radditz said reaching full power and flying towards his brother.

Goku just sighed and stuck out his index finger. Radditz flew into it and collapsed into a heap on the ground.

"Next please." Goku said as the others back up.

"Are you okay Radditz?" Nappa asked only to not get a response. Nappa walked over and stood right by his head. "RAAAADIIIIITZZZZZZ!"

Radditz just layed there as Turles walked over and began nudging him with his boot. "Man, he's out of it."

"Let me try." Bardock said standing beside his fallen son. "Let's all go watch some T.V.!" He shouted. Nothing happened though. Radditz just layed there. "Okay, now I'm worried. Kakarott. Pick him up and take him to my house."

"Okay." Goku said lifting his brother onto his back and following his father only to watch as he vanished.

"Oh my god! I killed him!" Goku shouted as tears came to his eyes.

"He was already dead." Bardock sighed.

"Oh yeah. Well then where is he?"

"Who knows." Turles said. "Wherever it is it's probably somewhere none of us would want to be."

The Saiyans all shuttered at the thought of where Radditz could be and decided to go with Goku to visit North Kai and find out where Radditz went.

"I'll go get Saladaras and Zuchina." Nappa said. "They might be able to help."

***********************************************************************

Radditz opened his eyes and sat up. His brother and father were nowhere to be found. Nappa and Turles were'nt there either. As a matter of fact there was nothing there but himself.

"Where am I?" He asked himself standing up and looking around the nothingness. "Man, I'm not blind am I?"

He held up his hand and began shaking it infront of his face. "Nope. I can see." He started walking around and noticed something off in the distance. It looked like a little hut. He started to run towards it. When he finnaly got there he was panting and crawling out of exhaustion but was able to pull himself up and push open a nearby door. He walked through it and found himself standing on a small artificial island in the sky. He walked over to the edge and looked down to see a forest, a small teapee and a bunch of animals.

"Where am I? Jupiter?"

***********************************************************************

How did Radditz get to Jupiter Earth?
What kind of name is Zuchina?
Is the T.V. reception in Hell good or just so-so?
Could Frieza secretly enjoy being wrapped up in a carpet and thrown off a bridge?
Find out the answers to some of these and other questions in Part Two of The Fantasticaly Inane Story Of Radditz!

-Yeah, not a great start but it'll get better! I swear!#nosmileys#nosmileys#nosmileys

[rjxsapri®]

Man this is awesome!!!!!!!!! ;D


I see you have something with Raditz, you always like to make fun of him... ;D. Anyways, you come up with great funny ideas... ;D

[FoxExecutive]

LOL, a lot of funny stuff. This is really interesting as DBZ somewhat just forgot about Raditz and Nappa after the Saiyan saga. It's great to hear a story about them. Great work. ;D

[Little Syxx]

;D Thanks! I guess it was a good start after all;). Part two should be up soon.

[gokusaiyan]

yes, it's a good start, keep it up!!! ;D

[Little Syxx]

The Fantasticaly Inane Story Of Radditz:Part Two

Radditz continued to stare downwards, still unaware of where he was. "Hmmmm, I wonder." He said to himself. He began preparing a loogie to spit over the egde when he felt something tap his lower back. He turned around and looked down to see a little green man.

"Who are you?" The green man asked as Radditz swallowed his spit.

"Well, what's your name? Who wants to know?" Radditz replied cautiously.

"I am Dende, the kami of this planet. I was just curious, you showed up on my look out our of nowhere you look a little like someone I know, just with more hair."

"Well if you must know my name is, um." Radditz began trying to think of a fake name and saw something out of the corner of his eye. "Palm Tree, Palm Tree...Watering Can."

"Really? Last time I saw you your name was Radditz."

The Saiyan turned around to see a much larger green man. His eyes widened when he realised the green man infront of him was the Namek who killed him.

"Holy crap!" Radditz screamed hiding behing the smaller Namek. "Don't kill me again!"

"If you explain to me what you're doing here maybe I'll let you live."

"Okay, okay. I was down in Hell training with my father, Nappa, Turles and my brother when I flew into my brother's index finger and ended up unconcious."

Piccolo laughed. "Really?"

"Yes."

"That's pathetic."

"Hey, shut up!"

"Well it is. What are Goku and the others doing right now?"

Radditz started scratching his head. "I don't know."

***********************************************************************

Down in Hell Nappa, Turles, Brolly, a Saiyan wearing a white robe and Bardock watched as Goku had his arms wrapped around a Saiyan woman in a big hug.

She turned her head towards Bardock and said. "Are you sure this is our second son?"

"Yep."

"d*mn it." She sighed as Goku put her down. "I've got one son missing and the only son I have left is a complete moron."

"Akaka rott, ka ka."

"Brolly's right Mrs. Zuchina. It could be worse." Turles said.

The Saiyan wearing the robes got up and walked towards Goku.

"Kakarott, are you ceartin North Kai will help us?"

"Believe me Saladaras." Turles said. "If North Kai taught him that Spirit Bomb and the Kaioken getting him to help us find Radditz should'nt be very difficult."

"Yeah." Goku laughed. "Me and North Kai go way back."

"Did'nt you blow him up?"

"Well, yeah. But he forgave me."

Zuchina sighed. "Let's just get out of here and find North Kai."

"Good idea." Bardock said. "The sooner we find Radditz the sooner we can get back to our normal routines."

"Yeah. We need to kick Frieza's ass tonight." Saladaras said.

"How often do you do that anyways?" Goku asked.

"Every night. Except holidays. On holidays we do it in the morning."

***********************************************************************

Back on Earth Radditz was sitting with Picclo and Dende.

"So tell me again, you flew into Goku's index finger and got knocked out then woke up in the Room of Spirit and Time?" Piccolo asked.

"Yeah." Radditz said. "I just went flying towards him then boom, hit his finger and woke up in your fancy room."

"I think the impact of your skull against Goku's finger may have caused a warp in the barrier between the Room of Spirit and Time and Hell."

"Really?" Radditz asked. "Then how do I get back to Hell?"

"Well, the only thing I could think is to recreate the hit to the head you suffered during your battle with Goku."

"Well, who out there would be able to do that?"

Piccolo looked to the East and nodded. "I know someone."

***********************************************************************

Gohan, Videl and Goten layed on the floor in the Son home just staring up at the roof. It was just a week after they defeated Brolly and they were still feeling the effects of the battle.

"You know, we really should find a more productive way to pass the time." Gohan said.

Videl just waved one of her hands. "Eh."

The three just continued laying there when a knock was heard on the door.

"Who's gonna get that?" Gohan asked.

Another knock was heard as Videl waved her hand again. "Eh."

Goten sighed and got up off the floor. "Man, you two are lazy." He said heading towards the door.

"We're not lazy. We were just at school all day. Right Videl?"

"Eh." She replied again as Gohan turned towards her.

"Are you okay?"

Before Videl could reply Goten walked over to Gohan. "Mr Piccolo and some guy with alot of hair are at the door."

"A guy with alot of hair?" Gohan asked.

Goten nodded. "Yep. Guy with alot of hair."

Gohan got up off the floor and walked towards the door. When he got there he saw Piccolo standing beside of all people Radditz.

"Hey Gohan. Can you knock me out with your index finger?" His long dead uncle asked, his voice filled with hope.

"...Sure. I've got nothing better to do."

***********************************************************************

On Snake Way the Saiyans started thier journey to the North Kai's home.

"Man, I'm glad you have all those connections with the front desk." Nappa said. "Last time I asked King Yemma for a favor he dropped a stack of papers on me."

"Really? Me too!" Turles said.

"Ugh. Why is it myself, Bardock and Zuchina are the only intelligent Saiyans looking for Radditz?" Saladaras asked nobody in particular.

"Ka ka rott ka!" Brolly said glaring at Saladaras.

"Ah yes. I apologise Brolly. Sometimes your intelligence is easy to forget."

"Ka?" Brolly asked.

"Well, the only thing you say is parts of Kakarott's name in a different squence every time. While we eventually learned to understand you it still makes you look unintelligent infront of people who can't understand you."

"Ka." Brolly sighed putting his head down.

"How much further is this North Kai son?" Zuchina asked.

Goku's face lit up as soon as she called him son. "He's not that far." He said. "A few more hours should do it."

"Good." Bardock said. "I just want to find Radditz and go home."

"I think we all do Bardock."

***********************************************************************

Speaking of Radditz he was standing a few miles outside the Son home with Videl, Goten, Piccolo and Gohan.

"So, all you want me to do is stick out my index finger and let you fly into it?" Gohan asked.

Radditz nodded. "Yep. That's all."

"And that'll send you back to Hell?"

Radditz nodded again. "Uh huh."

"Well, okay." Gohan said sticking out his index finger.

"Here goes nothing!" Radditz shouted flying into Gohan's index finger and knocking himself out.

A few seconds later he vanished and Piccolo let out a sigh of relief. "Good, he's gone."

***********************************************************************

Radditz opened his eyes and began to look around. Instead of seeing Hell though he saw nothingness and a tiny hut off in the distance.

"Awwwww crap!"

***********************************************************************

Will Radditz ever get back to Hell?
How will North Kai help the Saiyans find Radditz?
Why don't the Saiyan's kick Frieza's ass holiday nights?
Did Videl's brain break during the battle with Brolly?

For the answers to some of these and related questions read the next part of The Fantasticaly Inane Story Of Radditz!#nosmileys

[SockPerson]

Haha, nice ending.

[Gohan]

Thats a great story. LOL. I love what you did with Brolly.LOL ;D

[rjxsapri®]

hahahaha. man, this is awesome. I also like what you did with Brolly. Funny stuff man... ;D

[Gohan]

Yeah, he made him sound like he was a pokemon.LOL

[rjxsapri®]

haha

Imagine Brolly with Pikachu's voice saying: "ka ka". haha ;D

[Gohan]

LMAO!!!

Thats too much.

[Trunksangel79]

This is a good story! I like it.roll Frieza up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge'. Another nice, long, fun filled day." You used that for DBSC also.That's really funny.lol
You are a very good writer. That was funny Brolly couldn't talK.LOL But Brolly talks in my story I wrote about him. ;D

[Little Syxx]

The Fantasticaly Inane Story Of Radditz:Part Three

Radditz sadly walked through the doors of the Room of Spirit and Time and sat on the edge of the look out.

"Did'nt work huh?" Dende asked walking over to the Saiyan.

"Did'nt work." He replied with a sigh. "I'm going to be stuck here forever."

"I'm sure your family and friends back in Hell are trying to find you and get you back."

"Yeah, you're right." Radditz said hopping up from his seated position. "But how?"

"Well. Goku happens to be good friends with the North Kai. I'm sure he'd be willing to help them. As a matter of fact I'm almost ceartin they are on thier way to see him as we speak."

***********************************************************************

On Snake Way Goku, Turles, Nappa and Brolly had thier arms locked together and were skipping down the path as Bardock and Zuchina were trying to ignore them and Saladaras was seriously concidering turning around and going back to Hell.

"Oh we're off to see the Kai!" Goku sang.

"The wonderful Kai of the North!" Nappa continued.

"Ka ka ka ka ka kaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Brolly sang.

"Because he'll help us get Radditz back!" Turles sang.

"We're off the see the wonderful Kaio, the wondeful Kai of the North!" The four sang as Saladaras began shaking his head.

"Never do that again." Bardock said. "You're Saiyans. Not some kind of traveling band of singing morons."

"I thought it was kind of cute." Zuchina said happily causing the four to smile. "If you were five years old!"

"Sorry mom."

"That's all right Kakarott. I'm sure living on Earth for as long as you have has turned your brain into a jelly like mush and has rendered you incapable of speaking in a coherent fashion."

"Mom. I'm sure I'd still have the same amount of brains that I do now if I had grown up on Vegeta-sei. Living on Earth for a long time does'nt wreck your brain."

***********************************************************************

"Eh."

"Are you sure you don't want Bulma to check you out? You took a pretty big hit to the head during the battle with Brolly and so far all you've said since then was 'eh' and 'idiot'. I'm pretty sure that's not healthy."

"Eh."

Gohan just shook his head and got up off the grass he was laying on with Goten and Videl.

"Well fine then!" He snapped. "I guess you two can waste your day looking up at the sky but I'm going to study!"

"But Gohan." Goten said as his brother flew back towards the house. "You're on summer vacation!"

"Eh."

Goten looked down at Videl and scratched his head. "Y'know. That's really starting to scare me. I'm going to see Trunks."

Goten flew off towards Capsule Corp as Videl just remained laying on the grass.

"...Idiots."

***********************************************************************

At Capsule Corp Vegeta was holding a Super Saiyan Trunks upside down over a toilet. Trunks was struggling to get free but there was no escape.

"Say it!" Vegeta screamed.

"No!" Trunks replied as Vegeta began lowering him.

"This is your last chance!"

"No! I won't do it! I won't!"

"Then enjoy your trip!"

Vegeta continued lowering Trunks.

As soon as his hair touched the water he screamed. "Okay! Okay! The topics on your talks shows are not frabricated! They're all One Hundered percent real! Each and every one of them! Even the one's that don't seem like they could possibly be true! They are!"

Vegeta smirked. "I'm glad to see you finnaly see it my way." He lifted Trunks out of the toilet and dropped him on the floor. "Now get out of my sight!"

Trunks walked out of the room and headed downstairs to see Goten.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Trunks asked.

"Well." Goten replied. "Gohan's studying and we think Videl has brain damage."

"What makes you think that?"

"All she says is 'eh' and 'idiot'."

"Seriously!?"

"Yeah. At first it was pretty funny but she's been doing that for a week now."

"When exactly did she start doing it?" Trunks asked.

"After the fight with Brolly. She took a pretty hard hit to the head and she is only human."

"Well then you know what we have to do right? We have to hit her really hard in the head to get her back to normal."

"Well, I've got an anvil at home."

"No, that's a little much. Why don't we just hit her with a Two by Four."

"Okay. But are you sure this is a good idea."

"Come on Goten. Who would like living a life where they say the same words over and over again?"

***********************************************************************

"Rott ka ka!"

"Wow, that is North Kai's place. Good eye Brolly!."

Goku and the other Saiyans had finnaly arrived at North Kai's home on Snake Way. They headed towards the door and Goku looked towards Saladaras.

"I'm sorry to ask you this but can you knock?"

"Why are you sorry to ask me if I can knock?"

"Well, because, the reason I'm having you knock is because you're the weakest one here."

Saladaras sighed and moments later North Kai answered the door.

"Wow, I must be Saiyan things." He said before bursting into laughter.

The Saiyans just stood still except for Goku who laughed along with the Kai.

"Laugh." He whispered to the others. "If we don't North Kai might not help us."

The others began to laugh along and a few minutes later North Kai finnaly stopped.

"Um, now that that's done with North Kai could you help us find someone?" Saladaras asked.

"Ofcourse Saladaras. But first, I'd like to tell you a joke I made up just this morning."

"Um, with all due respect North Kai we just came here to find my son." Zuchina said.

"Yeah. We did'nt come to listen to jokes." Bardock said.

"No joke. No help." North Kai told them.

"Fine. What's the joke?"

North Kai took a big breath and held in his laughter. "Okay, here we go...where do Dragon's dance?"

The Saiyans just stood still, waiting for the answer.

"A Dragon Ball!"

As North Kai laughed at another terrible joke Zuchina walked over and grabbed him by the throat.

"We listened to your stupid joke now if you don't tell me where my Radditz is I'll tear your head off and boot it down Snake Way!"

"He's on Earth!" North Kai screamed as he began struggling to get free.

"Thank you." Zuchina said dropping the Kai to the ground below. "I hope Radditz is okay down there."

"I'm sure Radditz is fine." Bardock said. "He's probably trying to do what Kakarott forgot to do and take it over."

***********************************************************************

Radditz stood at the crosswalk outside Capsule Corp waiting for the light to change so he could cross the street. Beside him stood a small kid eating a bag of candy.

"Can I have some?"

"No." The kid said sticking out his toungue.

"...you suck..."

***********************************************************************

Can Trunks and Goten cure Videl's supposed brain damage?
How can Seven dead Saiyans get to Earth and bring back Radditz?
Is Radditz going to convince the kid to give him some candy?
Will we hear more of North Kai's cutting edge humor?
Where did Goten get an anvil?

Want to know the answers to some of these all important questions and others? Then read the next and final (and probably extra long) part of The Fantasticaly Inane Story Of Radditz!

[Trunksangel79]

This just keeps getting more better each time. Brolly singing now that was funny.LOL ROFL LOL I couldn't stop laughing at the thought of Brolly singing.LOL
Good job. I like it! ;D