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Post by gokuromario on Feb 21, 2005 17:22:44 GMT -5
anyone got a joke, this one is sure to get over 1000 posts, ok i'll start off.
two pieces of puke go into a bar to meet their new best friend who had just came on to the scene (dadadom) they walk out with their new friend and go across the street, they walk for about 5 minutes and come to a lampost, one of the sick starts to cry at this moment and the others ask.
"why are you crying"
and he replied "this is where i was brought up" (dadadom)
anyone else
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King Friezan
Super Saiyan 2
"Veni Vidi Castratavi Illegitimos"
Posts: 423
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Post by King Friezan on Feb 22, 2005 5:05:20 GMT -5
Hmmmm....
*Translating*
*Translation Complete*
*Uploading Joke*
A guy walks into a Music Shop and starts to look around and look for a good Instrument. Then he walks up to the Salesman and says: "You could sell me that red trumpet over there and that white "High-Hat" over there". And then the salesman says: "Well, I could sell you that Fire Extinguisher(Spelling?), But there is no way i can get that Battery over there out off the wall".
*Awaiting Reaction*
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Diesil
Super Saiyan 2
We are so HOT!!!
Posts: 357
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Post by Diesil on Feb 22, 2005 14:15:54 GMT -5
Guy walks into a bar and says "OUCH!!!!!"
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Post by gokuromario on Feb 22, 2005 14:31:39 GMT -5
Posted by: King Friezan Posted on: Today at 05:05am Hmmmm....
*Translating*
*Translation Complete*
*Uploading Joke*
A guy walks into a Music Shop and starts to look around and look for a good Instrument. Then he walks up to the Salesman and says: "You could sell me that red trumpet over there and that white "High-Hat" over there". And then the salesman says: "Well, I could sell you that Fire Extinguisher(Spelling?), But there is no way i can get that Battery over there out off the wall".
*Awaiting Reaction*
WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN!!!!!!!!!
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Post by SKJTapion on Feb 22, 2005 14:32:02 GMT -5
A man walks into a bar with three ducks. He turns to the barman and says 'My ducks can talk'. The barman grins at him and tells him 'If you can prove it, I'll give you a drink on the house'. The man tells the barman to ask each duck its name and how it's day was. So, the barman turns to the first duck. 'Hi, whats your name and how was your day?' To the barman's amazement, the duck answered. 'Hi, my name is Bill, I've had a great day. I've been in and out of puddles all day'. The barman is shocked and turns to the second duck. 'Hi, whats your name and how was your day?' To the barman's amazement, the duck answered. 'Hi, my name is Bob, I've had a great day. I've been in and out of puddles all day'. So, the barman now turns to the third duck. 'Hi, whats your name and how was your day?' 'My name is Puddles. I've had a crap day'.
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Post by gokuromario on Feb 22, 2005 17:39:51 GMT -5
i've got a bunch of those.
a man walks into a bar and theirs a horse in the middle of the bar, he walks over to the barman and says to him
"why's there this horse in your bar"
and he answers
"competition, make it laugh, you win £10,000"
the man apcepts the challenge, walks over to the horse and whispers something in its ear, and the horse laughs, the barman looks amazed and hands over the money, the guy then leaves.
the next week, the same man, now £10,000 richer, walks into the same bar and sees the same horse and he asks the barman why its there and the barman says
"well if you can make it cry then i'll give you £10,000"
the man apcepts the challenge walks over to the horse and zips down his fly, the horse immediately burst into tears. the barman looks stumped and when the man comes to apcept his winnings he asks
"alright, how did you get a horse to laugh one week and to cry another"
and the man replies
"pretty easy, last week i told the horse my schlong was bigger than his and this week i showed him"
BADABOM CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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King Friezan
Super Saiyan 2
"Veni Vidi Castratavi Illegitimos"
Posts: 423
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Post by King Friezan on Feb 23, 2005 4:13:51 GMT -5
Posted by: King Friezan Posted on: Today at 05:05am Hmmmm.... *Translating* *Translation Complete* *Uploading Joke* A guy walks into a Music Shop and starts to look around and look for a good Instrument. Then he walks up to the Salesman and says: "You could sell me that red trumpet over there and that white "High-Hat" over there". And then the salesman says: "Well, I could sell you that Fire Extinguisher(Spelling?), But there is no way i can get that Battery over there out off the wall". *Awaiting Reaction* WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN!!!!!!!!! OK. I'll explain it. The thing was: The guy was so stupid that he thought the Fire Extinguisher and the Battery in the wall were Music Instruments. Was it that hard to understand it? Anyways, I'll pull up something simpler. What does it say on the Head stone/Grave stone of a Guy who plays "Blues"?.....It says: "I didn't wake up this morning"..... *...*
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Post by gokuromario on Feb 23, 2005 6:01:51 GMT -5
pretty good.
Q.whats the sickest thing you can do?
A.go to a graveyard and sing "ah, ah, ah, ah staying alive, staying alive"
Q.how do you make a NED laugh?
A.Speak english
Q.how do you make an old man swing?
A.simple, shoot him through the head and tie him to a tree
Q.whats the difference between a surfer and a baby?
A.one moves around the shore, one s**** across the floor
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Diesil
Super Saiyan 2
We are so HOT!!!
Posts: 357
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Post by Diesil on Feb 23, 2005 8:36:42 GMT -5
Here's a more in depth one:
A bartender sees that one of his customers is heavily intoxicated. His customer keeps asking for more and more to drink though. Finally the bartender tells the man that he's had enough and that he needs to leave. Bartender: "You've had enough, it's time to go" Guy: "No I haven't, I haven't even started yet" Bartender: "Yes you have, now it's time to leave!" Guy: "I promise you I'm not drunk, and to prove it, I'll make a bet. I bet 100 dollars that I can piss right into a shot glass at the other end of the bar and not miss at all" The bartender thinks for a moment- 100 dollars- is this guy serious? Bartender: "Ok buddy, you're on" *chuckles to himself* So the guys stands up in a drunken stupor and tries to piss in a shot glass at the other end of the bar. Obviously he misses terribly. The bartender laughs histerically and says, "Ok buddy, time to pay up" The guy pulls a 100 dollar bill out of his wallet, and as he hands it to the bartender he begins to smile. Bartender: "Dude, you just lost 100 dollars! Why are you smiling?" Guy: "Because there are 5 guys right over there at that table that said they'd each pay me 100 dollars if I could piss all over your bar and you wouldn't get mad about it"
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Post by SKJTapion on Feb 23, 2005 9:41:11 GMT -5
Yeah, thats a good one. ;D Would anyone object if I broke out the Racist Jokes?
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Majunks
Super Saiyan 2
Shut up or I Turn you into CHOCOLATE!
Posts: 579
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Post by Majunks on Feb 23, 2005 11:57:01 GMT -5
^ Not really, I know you're not racist. Just make sure it's not a Irish bar joke (I am SOOOO SICK of hearing those). Oh wait I got a joke, (clears throat) Q: Okay what's a sure sign you're drunk? A: When you walk out of one bar and into another! (Drum sound) . No that's the whole thing. I would tell a funnier one but all the others are way to sexually oriented.
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Post by gokuromario on Feb 23, 2005 13:47:14 GMT -5
three woman are stuck on a deserted island, they all go searching for food.
one is a blonde, one is a brunnette and one is a red head, so they go to try and find some food when suddenly one of them comes across a lamp, they rub it and the lamp lights up and produces a genie, and the genie says
"thank you for freeing me, now i shall grant a wish to each of you for this favour, what'll it be"
the blonde steps up and says "i wanna be smart enough to figure out how to get off this d*mn island"
so the genie just clicks his fingers and one two three the woman turns into a architect, builds herself a boat out of palm trees and sails off the island.
the next one who is the red head says "can you make me as smart as her"
and the genie snaps his fingers and she turns into a mechanical engineer, finds some meterials, builds a plane and flies off the island
and the brunnete thats the only one left walks up to the genie and says, "can you make me smart too, but not too smart, just so i can get off the island as well"
the genie grants her wish and the brunnette turns into a man, turns around and walks across the bridge
dododododododoodooooooo chhhhhiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!
ok if that didnt tickle your fancy heres another.
three woman go into a haunted mansion, one black head, one blonde and one punker, and they all decide to head to bed at the same time.
on their way they each encounter a magic mirror and it says to them.
"you cannot pass, not unless you answer me one question each, get it right and you shall pass freely, get it wrong and you'll dissappear"
the black head says to the mirror "sure"
and the mirror says "use i think! in a sentence and you shall pass"
the black head says to the mirror "i think i'm beautiful"
the mirror grants her pass and she goes freely
the punker walks by and says "i think this questionare is stupid" she gets it right and she walks by
the blonde girl walks up to the mirror and says
"i think....." and she dissapears
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Post by rjxsapri® on Feb 24, 2005 12:52:27 GMT -5
This one's old, but who cares:
-mom, buy me a bra.
-no
-awww, c'mon mom, buy me a bra.
-NO!
-mom, all the girls in school are already using a bra...I'm 13 yrs. old mom...please, buy me a bra.
-I already said NO!!!!!....now, shut up William!
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Post by gokuromario on Feb 24, 2005 17:21:59 GMT -5
interesting.
"a moutain filled with nappies, a room that smells like moose piss, a baby that needs tending and a boy who i once had first kissed, he left us to be, the baby and me, and away that day he did zip, oh if only i'd prevented it, now i torment over it, that the condom did so infact rip"
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StoneTitan
Super Saiyan
How do you prove that you exist? Maybe we dont exist...
Posts: 338
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Post by StoneTitan on Feb 26, 2005 18:27:28 GMT -5
I tryed to translate a story i have:
Peter and the Pwolf(Wolf)
Once upon a time there where a Peter, who always moved around and yelled: -The Pwolf is coming! The Pwolf is coming! The People laughed of him and thought, he were mentally deficient & extremely annoying. Yet Peter didn’t quit yelling: -The Pwolf is coming! The Pwolf is coming! The Pwolf is coming! But The People continued laughing of him and thinking, he was mentally deficient & extremely annoying. Still Peter continued yelling: -The Pwolf is coming! The Pwolf is coming! The Pwolf is coming! Then a day came the Pwolf, it eat everyone in the city except Peter, from that day on Peter always said: The Pwolf was here! The Pwolf was here! The Pwolf was here!
I have one with allmost every farytale.(just not translatet)
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