Post by StoneTitan on Jan 26, 2005 9:10:25 GMT -5
rjxsapri® said:
Ok, I live my life quietly. I don't hurt anybody, and try to be as nice with everyone as I can be. But still, I haven't been able to start with the life a common 19 yr old should have. And I don't mean having a girlfriend or stuff like that...I just mean talking.
My biggest problem my be my low self-steem. My family tells me that I should have more confidence like if it was just thinking about it and that was it. But no, I'm like afraid of everything, afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding, afraid of not doing anything at all. I'm mostly afraid of my future.
Another thing that kills me is that for some reason I feel like...I hate...myself. I find something in me...repulsive.
I prefer to pretend I'm ignoring them and not give the idea that I feel sorry for myself or such. I prefer a million times to hold it all inside me.
...
Wow! I can relate to most of your post(The part up there)
The fear of failing is far from fun, alot of the time i want others to do the stuff, Becorse i trust in there abilitys more then my own.
The only time i don't have that kind of confidence problem, is when i get annoyed and the few times i get angered.
Im not much for partys. Last year i tryed to go to 3 partys at scool, i hoped they would be more fun then the partys in the erly scool years. But no I got bored and ended up walking around the scool many hours eatch time.(I hate dancing)
Hmm... thinking about it maybe im scared of that kind of emotions.
Im 19 years old and have never "loved" anyone. I like my family and friends. But the kind of love for a counter part... never felt it.
From the age of 5 till now i havent kissed anyone, not even members of my family.
Up till 1½ years ago i would get embarassed just when other people asked me about girls.(some teased me about it)
Now i can easyly tell them i dont care about having a counterpart(maybe in some years who knows???)
I like the freedom of doing what i want when i want.