advice for all members

[gokuromario]

i've considered myself to be a very open minded person, i dont like talking about well lets call it jerking, when i talk about it with other men but i'm willing to listen to that sort of thing over the net.

anyway thats besides the point, i'm here to start this thread to give all members who have personal or social problems advice, please talk to me, share your feelings, many others on this site will be the same as you, maybe worse off.

so please, if you have a problem, share

[rjxsapri®]

I don't know man...I have so much stuff on my mind that I would like to say...but it's hard for me to get it out...even if it's online. Moslty when anyone even people new to the forum can read this...

[YoshikiRose]

I'm a procrastinator.

yah,

can't help, anoakj;adkfjadkfa;dfad

i need some sleep.

[~*Hieislove*~]

rjxsapri said:

I don't know man...I have so much stuff on my mind that I would like to say...but it's hard for me to get it out...even if it's online. Moslty when anyone even people new to the forum can read this...

awww *hug* we dont mind. I will help you.

My problem is ...Im adicted..to chocolate *crying* and *cough*yaoi*cough*

[Marccio]

I admit it! I am the guy in the turban!

;D

[gokuromario]

well the only thing i can say to those is.

be open.

substitute chocolate for low fat chocolate mouses

and thats just disturbing

[rjxsapri®]

Ok well, I've decided to say a little bit of how I feel just because the people in here are the only friends I have.


Ok, I live my life quietly. I don't hurt anybody, and try to be as nice with everyone as I can be. But still, I haven't been able to start with the life a common 19 yr old should have. And I don't mean having a girlfriend or stuff like that...I just mean talking.

I know when you hear me saying that I don't have any friends or that this is all the social life I got you think like "Oh, he doesn't have many friends, he doesn't go out that much". But it's not like that, it's like I never go out except to work, and at my job I try to socialize but I feel like many people have prejudice against me. Not everyone, but many.

My biggest problem my be my low self-steem. My family tells me that I should have more confidence like if it was just thinking about it and that was it. But no, I'm like afraid of everything, afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding, afraid of not doing anything at all. I'm mostly afraid of my future.

Another thing that kills me is that for some reason I feel like...I hate...myself. I find something in me...repulsive. This is like the strangest feeling the I have, since I've always been a good person with everyone around me...I've tried to give as much love as I can not caring about getting anything back. But when I think of my personality, my looks, my job, my life...I find every single of those things repulsive.

Like everyday the thought of ending it all comes to my mind. It's the thought that tells me that I don't have to care about my mother anymore, not care about girls anymore, not care about my job, or my future anymore. That thought is constantly, day and night on my mind. It might not be noticeable, but it's always there. But at least, I've always been strong on that. I've had that thought so many times and ignored it that I'm 100% sure that I'll never chose to do that.

I never, never talk about this with anybody. The only person I've ever told personal problems to is my mother. But now she's taking chemotherapy and I don't want to stress her out. I rater listen to all the things she has to say, which come to make me feel even worse. I still have always chosen to not talk about this with people outside my family. I prefer to pretend I'm ignoring them and not give the idea that I feel sorry for myself or such. I prefer a million times to hold it all inside me and wait until it's dark and I'm in bed so I can cry whenever I feel I need to do it. I prefer to do that than to go complaining and making people think I'm a sad person.

Anyways, for some reason, even though I'm only 19 years old, I've already resigned to many things in life. I do not care anymore about fullfilling my dreams, I just keep going to see what I'll find at the end...

[Marccio]

Sapri, you are a good man. Your a great friend and a great person. The world will find a good place for someone like you. I have no doubt that you'll lead a happy, wonderful and successful life. From what I've seen of you on here. I know that your a smart, caring and lovable person.

[YoshikiRose]

RJX, you remind me exactly of me, funny how it is. You don't HAVE to be afraid of anything. I wonder, have you ever taken therapy, in the nonregular way? Like, gone to a pastor and set up appointments and talked with them about yourself..

It's what I did and god, it got a whole bunch off my chest. It was twice as difficult for me because I'm completely against religion. I have nothing against faith, only religion. I could literally feel my chest RIPPING ITSELF APART because I was so frightened of asking for help. My whole family is self-sufficient (and that's probably the reason we're in some sh*t now) because we're all stubborn and won't accept help from anyone, no matter how much we need it. This is why I identify with Vegeta

Not long ago at all, I always felt I couldn't cry in my home. When I started to cry or if I started feeling "weak" as I labelled it, I would bite something. Usually myself. Or a pillow. I'm very violent. Eventually all the feelings I should have let out kind of destroyed me and wasted me. To be human and have feelings was a flaw to me. I started talking to Rider about these sort of things, about religion and such. I tried to explain what I felt, but as I explained it all, I cried, right in front of the computer. I rethought my idea of faith versus religion, and went to church regularly. The first time I went I think I really cried gallons, because for once, I could cry. I could cry! I had freedom, of some sort.

I haven't been going for the past half year, and it has been taking a toll on me. I do not follow Christ and I never will, mark my words. But to inflict a happiness upon yourself does make you feel cleansed of all darkness in your life.

Wow, I sound like such a biblethumper I'm not. I'm a godd*mn philosopher. Ha! Beat that, Christ!

*dances with Gackt*

[rjxsapri®]

Thank you...for your input...

They kinda...raised my spirit...for now

Specially FluffyJuneys last two lines...

[gokuromario]

you remind me of myself somehow.

and my god you should write a book that was really moving, its hard to believe something that open wasnt made up but its true.

when i was young i never had much friends, well none, i never got out that much so i became fat, i had to have carers time to time take me out places just to keep me social which was great, i sometimes think of death while i'm asleep and i cannot sleep for hours on end.

what your saying is you feel like suicide is the way to go but that only hurts other people.

you need to listen to your inner voice and try and reason with yourself and decide what you want to do with your life, read a book about it, you'll get an idea.

ok since were all being open i'll be open.



all my life i've had what people call autism, but its called asperger syndrom which isnt that bad, i just get angered easily and sometimes assess situations wrongly, also i stink at trying to make a comeback to different situations.

i had no control over my actions when i was younger, when i turned 13 i started to realise that i'm not the person i was living the life of, i wanted to be like everyone else and not be seen as someone with a problem.

when i went to highschool times were hard because i was sent to a special needs unit which i used to really like but since i went to 6th year i really wanted to get away from my past.

the truth is i hate people with some forms of autism, when i see these people on tv it makes me feel worse about myself, i used to do so many bad things when i was younger and i couldnt understand why and sometimes i go insane trying to figure it out.

i dont want to live the life of someone who has a problem but the problem is i'm in denial and will live that way for the rest of my life.

all i want is to be normal, i never got that chance when i was a boy, now i feel like that chance might be slipping away from me but it seems like people are more understanding.

so far my problems have cost me my job because of the stupid government, part of my health for a good many years, my ability to learn and listen, my ability to just be like everyone else, my chance at getting more qualifications than i should have and my ability to assess a situation.

[BlackCoven]

rjxsapri? said:

Thank you...for your input...

They kinda...raised my spirit...for now

Specially FluffyJuneys last two lines...

To be honest, and I am sure many might doubt this, but the regulars on this forum and most others feel, in various levels, the way you do. Why else would the spend the amount of time on here if they felt otherwise. Up till about a year ago, I would never have joined a forum or spend this much time on the computer but a few things changed in my life. I graduated college and moved to another city. I had a very difficult time finding a job since I had little to no experience outside of school.
As my money supply dwindled, I had to get a crappy job doing something I hated. Now I relized that I went to school, graduated, and now I am working a dead end job with low pay, I have no friends here because they moved somewhere else, too busy, or just haven't graduated yet. I was now alone and feeling crappy about my job.
So, as time progressed, I began plugging myself into this box until I became dependent on it. Its a cheap way to spend your time and you can speak to people who are like yourself. I eventually started loosing the things I used to take for granted. My social skills have dropped, my work ethic and drive seemed to drift away because I felt that I could never get a job, one that I wanted anyway. But then I met a few people that I started hanging out with and began to regain what I lost. After I picked myself off my ass, I started going out more and purposely talked to people I wasn't accustomed to talking to and it became easier. The more you do it, the easier it gets. The internet does grant you the ability to be confident since you often get frowned upon on the outside. But with you rj, you are a very stand up guy here, if you carry these traits out there, you shouldn't have any problems I believe.

[SKJTapion]

You, Rjx, are an amazing person. And a note on the suicide... you can die anytime. But once you do, its over. You don't get another chance. Do you really want to give up like that now? Ok, so I didn't come up with that, its a ToS quote, but hopefully you can see the meaning. If you want friends I would not advise looking at your workplace. You like your music right? Gigs. I met so many cool people at gigs and festivals and even if I never see them again until the next gig or festival I still consider them great friends. You are kind, friendly and funny. You should have no probs if you just try. Confidence is a problem, I know what its like. But just be yourself. After overcoming it once you can do it again and again. Its hard, oh yes, but worth it. The most important word to remember is try.

[SnakeFire]

I have weird stuff going on in my life. But, I only started changing after my cousin was found at the bottom of a lake....seriously.

After the funeral I started to lose faith in things- all things. I started wondering if God had loved everyone in the aspects as I have learned in church, than why would my cousin be dead? I started asking myself whether or not my faith was real- was God real? Jesus? Our religion? Or was it just some cult that had gotten to a point of being a religion?

I am a person who doesn't ask for much. I don't ask for to many favors from friends or family. I am always wanting to help other people. But when it does come time for me to ask for help or for something, nobody gives me the time of day- they just throw their own shadow over me, like I'm not there.

I am a person who is losing her faith in life and the things that you learn in life. I am losing all respect for a lot of people at my school (teachers and students alike). I am beginning to get annoyed by the fighting and the drama that usually starts it. I used to be all excited about fights- now it has just grown old on me. I think that I am maturing way to fast for my own age.

As I have already said, I am not a person who asks for much. I also don't say much. I like to listen to people. I like helping people. But I know that if I say something about me, my friends or family will think that I am being selfish- they'll say that I am rambling on about nothing but me. The thing is, that I never do it. When I do, the people that should be comforting me push me aside. I hate that. So friggin much.

[DbzGokussj4]

what is this tell some story.