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Post by gokuromario on Apr 4, 2005 6:05:09 GMT -5
i've decided during this easter holidays i'm going to write a series of DBZ parodies for you all to enjoy, i hope you like them, heres the first one dedicated to April fools day.
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Post by gokuromario on Apr 4, 2005 6:05:32 GMT -5
Monkey Can’t Buy Me Love
(The night was young and the drinks were many, it was peaceful here on the night of Gohan’s 20th birthday, the cake was high, the guests came in vast quantities and videl looked super hot in her new designer dress, the whole gang was having a great time, vegeta looked intense as always, buu was stuffing himself with mountains of sweets, Hercule was trying to threaten chi-chi in a drunken state with a toothpick, to which she replied with a swift kick to the teeth, goku dances away under the disco ball and the others, well let’s just move on, it was a grand night in the Satan Supreme, that’s a hotel in Satan City dedicated to Hercule, ironically the following day is April fools day so trunks and goten try to get a couple of jokes in early, Krillen walks up to the platform where a microphone stands, with him he brings a large bag, he is dressed up in lederhosen for some reason with big wooden shoes, the rest of the gang sit down at their tables as Krillen speaks into the mike)
Krillen-(taking a deep breath) “good evening folks and welcome to the 20th annual celebration of gohan being alive, although that information is never accurate”
(Badabomchi……..the crowd is completely silent, a sweat drop drips from his head)
Krillen-“uh, ok then I guess we should move on, now normally I don’t do this sort of thing but seeing as how it’s such a special night and all I thought I’d give you a little demonstration of something I’ve been working on for the past three weeks, so if you’ll all bear with me”
(He searches through his bag and brings out an accordion a hat and some kind of novelty eyeglasses with that weird nose and moustache combo, he places the hat on his head and picks up the accordion)
Krillen-“I’ve prepared a song, it’s all about my childhood so I thought gohan would appreciate this sort of thing cause were the best of pals, also vegeta gave me twenty bucks and a new car to do this which by the way wasn’t filled with gas so I had to use the twenty bucks to fill it up, thank you very much, so anyway I call this little number, Krillen San”
KRILLEN SAN
(Krillen takes a deep and blows on a harmonica, vegeta lets out a small laugh and so doe’s goku, and he tunes his accordion a little and starts his song, blows his harmonica again and begins, he starts to dance to the beat, it’s the polka song with new lyrics)
Krillen – “WWWWWWHHHHHHEEEEENNNNNNN I was young life was bad, being a monk is pretty sad Scrub the floors, wax my head, every day wish I was dead The bullies they gave me a scare, made me pee my underwear So I left, said goodbye, went away without a cry My name is, Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN, Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN, Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN”
(At this point everyone is clapping along and laughing)
“Don’t worry folks, that’s only the first part………..ok”
“I met goku on an isle he gave me a great big smile Said my head looked like a ball, he had no sense not at all We met a chick, called her launch we trained hard till after lunch Got no sleep, days were long, now join in and sing this song”
(Everyone stands up, claps along and joins in singing)
“Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN, Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN, Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN”
(Everyone cheers, Krillen looks embarrassed)
“Hey, don’t start cheering now, there’s still some song left……….OK”
“I crossed the world and beat them all, even though I’m pretty small Fought a guy who’s pretty fat, I would rather fight a rat Got my ass kicked twice that day, by an old guy who seemed gay Came back again, got beat again, man does my life SSSSSSUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let’s do this once again HEY!!!! I was killed, goku’s sad, but being dead is not too bad Now my life doesn’t suck too much, now I’ve got the final touch But then I’m brought back once again, I was happy but then I saw my pal with a chick, and it made me really sick Now I’m old but I’m small, I don’t give two craps at all Cause my wife is really hot, so all of you can kiss my butt”
(Everyone stands up, claps along and joins in singing)
“Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN, Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN, Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN” “Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN, Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN, Krillen-Krillen-Krillen SAN”
(Everyone cheers as the song ends with one final note)
Krillen-“thank you, thank you” (takes a bow and grins) “I’ll be here, until somebody blows me up again” (everyone lets out laughter because they know he’s serious)
(Later that night, Mr Satan steps up to goku and begins speaking in a slur)
Satan-(pointing to goku’s chest, holding a martini or something) “now let me gets this straight wannabe, you think that your, the greatest HICKUP, fighter in the known something or another yeah, well toughie pants, is that what your thin kings, you may have da blonde wig, and the over flexed muscular syndrome but I got’s the ladies attentions, you only got’s one ladies attentions, and don’t tell me you’ve had more than that cause I know, I know you have not” (he sticks out his tongue and collapses to the floor, videl comes over and picks him up)
Videl-“I think you’ve had a little too much to drink dad, let’s get you to bed”
Satan-(speaking slurry speech) “BED, WITH YOU, oh dear me you may be beautiful but I don’t go for that incest crap” (videl knocks him out cold with a fist and drags him off, goku stands there scratching his ass, EVEN LATER THAT NIGHT)
(Gohan and Videl are in a room on there own, they have spent the night together there, they are now asleep, goten and trunks enter the room with baba the mystic crone, goten and trunks try to hold back there laughter)
Baba-(looking at those two) “I’m having second thoughts about this, gohan might be furious when he wakes up”
Trunks-(sniggering) “are you kidding, this is gonna be the best prank ever”
Goten-“yeah, do it, do it, do it”
Baba-“oh alright” (she places her hands above gohan, she waves them about in the air and starts reciting some weird chant) “HOOO WIDGITY FIDGETY BALD HEADS ON MIDGETIES, FECKTASY HECTASY MORONS WITH ECTASY, HOO WAA, HOYA, BOYA, MOYA, HHHHHOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLAAAAAA, MOST ANNOYA, POST TRAUMA, LOST WALLETTA……….”
Goten-(staring at her in confusion, she looks really exhausted for some reason and out of breath, speaking to trunks) “is it me, or does she look like she’s having a stroke”
Trunks-“ditto”
Baba-(releases her hands and drops them to her side, she growls at the two boys) “don’t think I didn’t hear that, I may be old but that’s the way most spells are done”
Trunks-“so is it done”
Baba-“yes it’s done”
Trunks-“fantastic, ok let’s get out of here”
(The three of them leave the room silently, the next morning the sun shines through the window waking gohan, he holds his head thinking he had too much to drink, he speaks to himself)
Gohan-(groaning) “whoa, what a night, all those tequila’s did me in, I don’t remember a thing, oh well, let’s see, I remember dancing, watching Krillen make a fool out of himself in a cute little outfit and I remember having a drinking contest with Mr Satan, but wait, did I do it last night, I don’t remember”
(Outside the room, goten and trunks walk by gohans, they are half asleep and only just remember what they did, they wait silently outside gohans door sniggering, inside the room, gohan turns and closes his eyes, he opens them seconds later and catches a glimpse of a giant gorilla sleeping beside him, he screams at the top of his lungs)
Gohan-“WWWAAAAAAHHHHH I f**kED A MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
(Outside the room goten and trunks laugh at the thought of the situation, after that gohan burst through the door completely nude and runs into the bathroom to take a long arduous shower, goten and trunks almost die with laughter, behind them a giant foot appears, they turn round and there is a gorilla wearing a nightgown behind them)
Both-“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH MONKEY!!!!!!!”
(The two of them run off into the distance, the monkey stands and grins, a puff of smoke appears and baba reappears afterwards laughing on top of her crystal ball)
Baba-“April fools boys, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
THE END
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Post by Little Syxx on Apr 4, 2005 6:13:30 GMT -5
That was pretty good. Drunken Hercule was great. I wish he'd pop up in stories more often. That last line Gohan said though was slightly disturbing.
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Post by gokuromario on Apr 4, 2005 7:37:11 GMT -5
thanks, i bet you liked the song
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Post by gokuromario on Apr 5, 2005 2:22:07 GMT -5
Part 2
The Ways of the Butt Munch
(Goten and Trunks decide to take it easy one day after a hard days work of doing nothing all afternoon, they decide to go to trunk’s house and watch TV for a little while, they come upon a channel eventually that they just cannot ignore, so for the next hour they watched a series of mind numbing episodes of Beavis and Butthead, so powerful was this mind numbing-ness that they began imitating the characters, let’s watch as they do so)
TV announcer-“Beavis and Butthead will be right back, after these………” (The TV is switched off, goten and trunks stare mindlessly into the blank screen, they begin laughing like idiots for no reason)
Goten-“blank screens are cool, MWEHEHEHEHHE”
Trunks-(looking to goten) “UHUHUHUHUHU, um, no there not”
Goten-(looks to trunks) “uhhh oh yeah” (the two of them laugh away like moronic zombies, until one of them speaks again) “uhhh, shouldn’t we like, do something”
Trunks-“you said do”
Both-“MWEHUHUHEHEUHUEHU”
Trunks-“uhhh what do you wanna do”
Goten-“umm DOOOO, DOOOO, HEHEHEHE”
Trunks-“cut it out, butt hole what do you wanna do”
Goten-(thinking to himself) “umm, eat………food”
Trunks-“cool”
(The two of them walk off mindlessly down the stairs of the Capsule Corporation, they come to a door where they see vegeta training away under intense conditions)
Goten-(looking at him) “whoa, your dad is cool”
Trunks-“so much better than your dad”
Goten-“uhhh no……..he’s…….not”
Trunks-“is too”
Goten-“my dad can lift boulders with his mind”
Trunks-“my dad can grow a moustache”
Both-“HWUHEUDHUEHDUEHWU MOUSTACHE HUSHUFHUELUDUHUHU”
Vegeta-(looking at those two through the door window, he opens the door to the chamber and wonders what the heck there grinning at) “what are you two doing”
Trunks-“uhhh, were trying to like get food”
Goten-“yeah, where’s the food old man”
Vegeta-“old man, oh forget it, the kitchens down” (points to his left) “that direction”
Trunks-“cool”
Goten-“yeah, cool”
(The two of them walk slowly down the hallway, vegeta stands there confused, he pulls a chocolate bar out from his back pocket, he looks around and chomps on it while the wrappers still on)
Vegeta-(with his mouth stuffed) “oh man, fifally ife benn wating for thif Twinkie (swallows it) bar all day, but I can’t let them think I’m a chocoholic, they’ll never let me hear the end of it” (looks down at his stomach) “oh great, another ten pounds to lose, well back to training” (he stuffs the half eaten bar back into his pocket and goes back into the chamber)
(Goten and trunks reach the kitchen, they begin searching the cupboards for anything that looks good, each time they don’t like something they just let it drop to the floor, trunks picks up a box of coco-pops)
Trunks-(showing them to goten) “uh, is this edible”
Goten-“don’t know, let us see” (he walks over to the box, swiftly rips off the wrapping and takes one hand, places it deep into the coco-pops and pulls out a bunch, he stuffs them into his mouth and likes the taste he goes for more but trunks stops him)
Trunks-“hey, cut it out butthole don’t get your mouth germs on it”
Goten-“but I is hungry”
Trunks-“so am I, so let’s share this tasty treat and be done with it”
Goten-(thinks about it and tries to pull them off him, they are in an endless struggle between boys and there cereal) “it’s mine”
Trunks-“no mine”
Goten-“no mine”
(Thousands of little pops are beginning to spread across the floor and become crunched)
Trunks-“look what you did ass wipe”
Goten-“you started it”
Trunks-(speaking in that weird Butthead philosophical way) “there is only one sure fire way to settle this, we must do……..the test”
Goten-“not THE TEST”
Trunks-“yes, it is the only way, to decide who shall snack upon these tasty puffy things” (Trunks brings out an I-Pod from the back of his trousers and turns it on full blast) “this will set the mood” (the scene goes to black for a moment)
(30 seconds later, the cowboy music begins to play, goten and trunks take there places on the table, goten reaches into the cupboard and draws out a packet of cheese doodles, he slams them on the table and passes them to trunks, he has a smile on his face, trunks immediately rips the box opens, takes a handful and eats them, goten becomes worried as the music gets deeper, he takes the box, shakes for a moment, trunks looks at him with a smile and he grabs a handful and eats it, trunks is surprised at this, so he pulls out the heavy artillery, a can of aerosol cheese!, gotens sweat begins to drip, trunks opens the can and sprays the cheese into his mouth, swallows it, and shows the remains to goten, goten almost pukes because of it, so he takes the can, sprays a wad into his hand and licks it clean, trunks almost screams in horror)
(The two boys continue there battle of the cheeses with none other than STRING CHEESE, goten downs the string cheese, one strand at a time, while trunks scarf’s it, the music still plays in the backdrop, goten is becoming weary, he shakes about a little but does not loose his cool, he pulls out another weapon, SLICED CHEESE, trunks looks worried, but eats it no bother, then goten gives it a go, the two of them are locked in a battle of dairy products, trunks pulls one last stunt to win it all, the dreaded limburger cheese, goten sniffs it and almost pukes at the stench, he slowly takes it, trunks looks on desperately, goten takes a handful, stuffs it into his mouth and swallows almost choking on it, he passes it to trunks, who takes one sniff and falls back in slow motion, defeated and stuffed with cholesterol, he falls slowly to the kitchen floor like in those cowboy movies where the music is about to stop)
(Goten triumphantly jumps to his feet, he holds his stomach straight afterwards, takes the box of coco-pops and pukes in it, trunks rises to his feet slowly to see the puke filled box)
Trunks-“whoa, you barfed it”
Goten-“yeah, it was cool”
Both-“MUDHFUHEHHEHEHEHEHDUDWUWUWUWUW”
(Later on, trunks returns to normal, the effect of the programme has worn off and he wonders into his room, he sees goten jumping up and down on his bed with his shorts on his head, trunks wonders what he’s doing)
Trunks-“what the hell are you doing”
Goten-(staring at trunks) “I AM (thinks to himself) ……… uuuuuuuhhhhhhhh, TROUSER……..TROUS………ZIPPER………TROUSEZIPPERO, I AM TROUSEZIPPERO, I NEED TCP FOR MY BALLSACKO”
Trunks-“we already ended that game, you can put your pants back on”
Goten-“ARE YOU THREATENING ME”
Trunks-“oh forget it”
(He slams the door behind him, goten sits down and starts thinking to himself in his cheese deprived state)
Goten-“I AM COLD”
THE END
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Post by Little Syxx on Apr 5, 2005 2:56:10 GMT -5
Ahhh memories. I haven't seen an episode of that show in years. Good parody.
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Post by gokuromario on Apr 5, 2005 2:59:08 GMT -5
thanks
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Post by gokuromario on Apr 6, 2005 9:01:05 GMT -5
A Day at the Parade
(Trunks and goten decide to take another day out of their normal daily lives of pure and selfless boredom to visit the thanksgiving parade in downtown Satan City, trunks looks completely bored sitting on his own, there are about 6 empty seats beside him, he yawns and picks his nose, flicking it onto a nearby car he cracks a smile, goten comes back carrying a mountain of souvenirs, in one arm he holds a no1 foam finger shaped like hercule, a bucket of popcorn and some soda, in the other he holds twizzlers and bangers, on his head is one of those cute ten gallon hats, and he is wearing his all time favorite t-shirt with a picture of Gokuromario on it, trunks yawns again)
Goten-(excited) “isn’t this great trunks, the parade, the people, the food, especially the food, maybe I should get more food, what was I saying, fffooooooddddd”
Trunks-(sighing) “parades stink”
Goten-“what makes you say that trunks”
Trunks-“well the balloons are usually for little kids, there’s no rides and all you do is sit around all day watching some morons make fools out of themselves”
Goten-“little kids are you kidding” (looks to the sky and points to one in excitement) “there, look, that’s Jiminy the Demonic Cricket” (points to another one) “Chronic the Wedge Log, and don’t even let me catching you saying bad stuff about our old pals” (points to a pair in the sky) “Ronald Cluck and Chugs Money”
Trunks-“who the hell did you say produces this crap again”
Goten-(thinks to himself) “um, Fizzney Studios, Playga and oh Susana Carbora the head who produces stuff from the Mourner Brothers”
Trunks-(ignoring him) “once again, stinks, stinks, and triple stinks” (he looks off into the distance and sees a young beautiful girl, he gets a look in his eye) “HEELLLOOO”
Goten-“uh oh”
Trunks-“what uh oh”
Goten-“you got that I just saw a girl look on your face again”
Trunks-“what face”
Goten-“that one you do that looks like some kind of mindless pineapple with a tongue” (trunks sees her again) “see there it is again”
Trunks-(ignoring him) “I wonder what her name is, what size of shoes she wears, what’s her address, phone number, and dress size, a boys always conscience about a girls dress size”
Goten-(waving a hand in front of him) “hello, earth to trunks, you there”
Trunks-(takes a look at goten’s hand and bites it, goten pulls back in agony) “sorry, I lost my mind for a second”
Goten-“are you done doing weird mouth words now, the parades almost over and we still haven’t seen the giant panda”
Trunks-“I thought it was a turkey”
Goten-“no they changed it to a panda back in 1997 because of international differences in culture, but really, what’s better than seeing a good old almost totally extinct animal displayed as a giant harmless balloon right” (the balloon suddenly pops in the distance, many people are flustered because of it, the people with the ropes try to hold on but let it go and it flies away, trunks and goten are caught by the back draft caused by the balloon)
Trunks-(straightening his hair) “well that’s one less to worry about”
Goten-(looking glum) “aw, and I was about to call it Charlie”
Trunks-“you’re weird”
Goten-(smiling) “yeah, aint it great”
(Few moments later the young girl trunks saw earlier comes to the boy’s chairs)
Girl-(to trunks) “excuse me, May I sit here”
Trunks-(looks up to her and starts drooling) “sure” (she takes a seat and thanks him, trunks slumps back in his seat like melted butter)
Girl-(to trunks again) “oh by the way, I know you two are sitting together but would it be alright if you could move up one seat so my little sister can sit next to me”
Goten-“sister” (the sister appears, she’s very cute for her age, she’s no older than trunks or goten, goten feels the same urge to drool that trunks feels)
Girl 2-“it’s ok Jana, I don’t mind sitting alone”
Jana-(goten starts to get interested) “but where will you sit, there’s nowhere around”
Goten-(pointing desperately to his seat) “HERE, HERE, HERE, YOU CAN SIT HERE, I mean…..uh well if you want to that is” (he nervously laughs)
Girl 2-“thanks” (she takes a seat beside goten, goten slumps back the same as trunks did seconds earlier, to goten) “by the way, my names Valise, and I think that’s a very cute hat you’ve got on, I would lose the foam finger if I were you though”
Goten-“um sure” (thinks about it, points to somewhere) “hey look at that” (when she looks he tosses the finger into the air and shoots a little beam of energy through it, which disintegrates it instantly, the girl looks back) “sorry, must have been a rodent”
Valise-“oh, ok” (sniffs the air) “do you smell smoke?”
Goten-(sniffing the air too) “umm……………no”
Valise-“I’m sure I…….”
Goten-(Jumps up and points) “HEY LOOK THE PARADES STARTING”
(Later on after the parade, the boys manage to get the girls phone numbers and go off into the nearby comic shop once departing them, Trunks spies one in the window that he likes, he goes up to the Comic Book Guy and speaks to him)
Goten-“hey mister”
CBG-(comic book guy, he looks like the obnoxious type, he turns and looks to trunks) “yes my lad”
Trunks-(points to the window) “how much for that comic book over there in the window”
CBG-(laughs while looking ignorant, he speaks sarcastically) “did mine ears deceive me, a mere child asking the price of a well preserved, MINT condition Riderman No 1” (Spiderman no 1 obviously)
Trunks-“uh….yeah how much”
CBG-(even more sarcastic) “well little boy, I can tell you right now that it is way out of your spending range, the price tag on that particular comic is exactly one…..million……zeni”
Trunks-“that all” (reaches into his back pocket, pulls out a wad of notes) “there you go” (trunks puts the notes down on the counter, the comic book guy looks at it, picks it up, smells it, flicks it, even licks it for some reason)
CBG-“fair enough, would you like a bag with that” (trunks is confused by his methods, five minutes later goten is pulled up in front of the counter by the same guy, he drags him by ear over to trunks, and presents him to trunks) “is this little individual a galactic accomplice of yours”
Trunks-(looking to goten who feels glum) “oh man, what did he do now”
CBG-“I caught him stealing magazines from the large display cabinet over there”
Trunks-(looks over to the cabinet, scratches his head when he sees the sign above it saying please take one) “yeah, it says please take one”
CBG-“one, oh really” (he grabs goten’s bag, lifts it up and an entire pile of magazines about 3 feet high begins to form)
Trunks-(to goten) “GOTEN”
Goten-“I liked the front cover”
Trunks-(sighs) “listen can’t he just give them back”
CBG-“perhaps, if they weren’t chocolate covered and lemon scented”
Trunks-(to goten) “DUDE”
Goten-“what, the parade gave out free stuff”
Trunks-“sigh, what’s the costs”
CBG-“well if I had to estimate, I’d say it was around another million zeni”
Trunks-(his eye twitches) “you just want more money don’t you”
CBG-“well, that’s what the asking price is, are you willing to pay the charges”
Trunks-“forget it”
CBG-“fine, then how about a compromise”
Trunks-“what……compromise” (later on, the CBG holds a megaphone outside the store, trunks is dressed as chronic the wedge log)
CBG-“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHRONIC THE WEDGE LOG WILL NOW BE SIGINING COPIES OF HIS NEW VIDEO GAME, PLEASE FORM A QUE TO MY RIGHT, HAND OVER 6 ZENI EACH, AND WE SHALL ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY, THANK YOU”
Trunks-(staring deeply at goten in hatred) “I hate you”
THE END
you know i'm never quite sure if what i'm writing are parodies or not, i mean what is a parody really, its just a joke situation of what there normal lives should be am i right.
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Post by gokuromario on Apr 7, 2005 4:54:52 GMT -5
Shop till We Drop
(Goku and Krillen walk to the new Mart O Mart to look for gifts for their wives and they stop at the entrance of the store to count their change)
Krillen-“I have, $14 and a couple of coupons, what bout you”
Goku-“I got six buttons, 4 lint molecules and HEY A JOLLY RANCHER” (goku stuffs it into his mouth but then spits it back out) “blah, I hate mold flavor”
Krillen-“goku, be serious for once, what do you think Chi-Chi would say if you came home with no gift for your big day”
Goku-“hmm” (he thinks to himself and a cloud above his head appears and Chi-Chi appears in the bubble)
Chi-Chi-“GOKU, HOW DARE YOU COME HOME WITHOUT A GIFT, DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS”
Krillen-(pulling the cloud towards him to get a better look) “wow, its so life like, how are you doing that” (the image of Chi-Chi brings out a rolling pin and hit Krillen on the head with it, the cloud disappears, krillen whines in pain)
Goku-“sorry, it’s a new technique I learned while I was sleeping, I call it dream bubble, you imagine something or someone that you either like or fear and your energy will make it reality”
Krillen-“really, let me try” (Krillen tries it out, he imagines a pigeon for some reason, and the pigeon poops on krillen, he wipes away the gunk)
Goku-“what was that about?”
Krillen-“I hate pigeons, doesn’t everybody”
(They head inside afterwards only to be stopped by about the only trans-dresser working in Satan City)
Boris-“Hellooooooo my pretty pets, and welcome to the Satan City Mart O Mart, where our motto is ‘you find it, your smart, we find it that’s Mart O Mart’ get it”
Goku-“not really”
Boris-“well anyway, my name is Boris Von Dressaspoof, and if there’s anything I can help you with today just be glad I’m here, cause I get paid minimum wage”
Goku-“well were trying to look for something for our wives”
Krillen-“our anniversaries are on the same day”
Boris-“what a coincidence, we just happen to have an anniversary section, walk this way” (the man walks off slowly shaking his hips and lifting his fingers to an unknown beat, goku and Krillen imitate his actions for a second then realize it’s too difficult so they walk with him normally)
Goku-(to krillen) “hey krillen, is it me or does this guy seem a little fruity to you”
Krillen-(staring up at goku with an eyebrow raised, sarcastically) “no goku, I did not notice how fruity the male cross-dresser in this store is, but thank you for pointing that out, I’ll be sure to list it in my diary”
Goku-“you have a diary” (Krillen sighs) “I’m sorry but that’s fruity” (krillen almost collapses because of Goku’s stupidity) “now your acting like you’ve got malnutrition problems”
Krillen-(to himself) “would you just shut up”
(Boris leads them to a perfume section, krillen stands around staring at the different kinds while goku looks at a few bottles)
Boris-“does the gentlemen like what he sees”
Goku-(staring at about 10 different bottles) “well I’m not sure, how do they taste”
Boris-“umm, taste”
Goku-“yeah taste, how does this stuff taste”
Boris-“I’ve never tried”
Goku-“well then, I better get to it then” (goku picks up a bottle and sprays it in his mouth, the assistant stares on in horror) “hmm, rosemary and tonic, NICE” (Krillen walks over to the TV section where he is greeted by another cross-dresser that looks just like Boris)
Doris-“hello sir, and how may I help you”
Krillen-(Stares) “weren’t you just over there”
Doris-“no your thinking of my cousin, my name is Doris, Doris Van Hasnojohnson, I seen you staring at the 42 wide screen and I just HAD to come over here”
Krillen-“well I’m really jut browsing” (he tries to walk away) “so I.,,,YAAAAHHH” (Doris pulls him by the collar and sits him down on a chair, it’s one of those recliner ones, he places a remote in Krillens hand and adjusts the seat)
Doris-(smiling) “comfy”
Krillen-“I just got pulled by a man in a dress who wants to sit me down in a chair and make me watch TV while standing behind me doing god knows what so no I am not very comfortable” (he tries to get up but he gets stopped)
(Back at the other end of the store, goku plays darts with Boris)
Goku-“do you think my wife would like this”
Boris-“don’t know, is your wife hideous”
Goku-“no she’s gorgeous”
Boris-“then no she wouldn’t like this”
Goku-“oh well”
Boris-“may I make a suggestion”
Goku-“sure”
Boris-“why don’t you try making her the gift yourself”
Goku-(stares to the sky) “well I don’t know, I’ve never made anything before, and I don’t really know how”
Boris-“really, oh my, where on earth did you go to school, Cleveland”
Goku-“no I was trained by a three hundred year old pervert with a turtle for a friend and he used to ride on a cloud but he gave it to me”
Boris-(Stares blankly) “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK”
Goku-“all this thinking is making me hungry, where’s the food court”
Boris-“right this way”
(Later on goku is sitting down to lunch, he pigs out on many a snackage, Krillen walks over to him slowly, not sitting down at first, looking glum)
Goku-(stuffing more into his mouth) “these Tortillas are great, wonder if I could get these for my anniversary”
Krillen-“sigh” (sits down)
Goku-“what’s up with you?”
Krillen-“well you know how I walked off earlier, well I went to the electronics section and there was this look alike there to greet me”
Goku-“sounds nice”
Krillen-“I told him I wanted to leave about 27 and a half times but he wouldn’t let me go”
Goku-“what happened?”
Krillen-“I bought a TV”
Goku-“really”
Krillen-“and a stereo”
Goku-“yeah”
Krillen-“DVD, CD, CRRW, VHS, and satellite, and he forced me to sign up for there life insurance package”
Goku-(confused) “why would you need life insurance”
Krillen-“I told him I died 3 times”
Goku-“oh right”
Krillen-“well once my wife hears what I’ve done he’ll probably need the insurance”
Goku-(thinking) “so did you get her a gift yet?”
Krillen-“no, I was………..wait a second” (he looks to a stall where the room seems to brighten up on that one spot, he gets up from the table and walks over to it, goku comes with him, they stop at the stall) “it’s beautiful” (krillen hugs a box) “it’s magnificent” (starts to get overdramatic) “IT’S THE PERFECT GIFT”
Goku-(takes a look at the thing) “it’s just tampons”
Krillen-(stares at him) “not just tampons goku, tampons that come with a box of” (gets dramatic again) “FREE CONDOMS” (holds it up to the sky in glory, goku notices people staring at him as he’s crying over this)
Goku-“krillen, I don’t really see the picture”
Krillen-“think about it, all our lives we’ve spent years trying to figure out what to get for gifts when it’s right in front of us, woman need this more than anything else in the world, it’s perfect”
Goku-“you have lost your mind”
Krillen-“goku, this is not like one of those times when you forget what season it is” (goku has a flashback)
Goku-(to chi-chi wearing a Santa suit) “merry Christmas dear”
Chi-chi-“but it’s Halloween”
Goku-“uhhhh I meant to do that, part of the costume”
Krillen-“or the times when you get them the wrong gift” (another flashback, this time Krillen)
Krillen-“here you go 18”
18-(opens her gift to find some kind of furry thing) “oh, a dead rat, thanks”
Krillen-“it’s a gerbil skin scarf” (18 throws it back in his face, the fantasies end)
Krillen-(reality) “this is our chance to show our wives what kind of men we really are”
Goku-(staring at a price label) “cheap, stupid ones”
Krillen-“EXACTLY, I mean, oh forget it, let’s just buy the things and go, I’m bored”
Goku-“well if you say so”
(After that they get to the tills, pay for the items then head home, the following day goku and krillen come downstairs wearing tuxedos and present their gifts to their wives)
Goku/krillen-“happy anniversary”
Chi/18-(staring at the boxes) “our anniversary was yesterday” (Krillen and goku collapse to the floor in agony)
THE END
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Majunks
Super Saiyan 2
Shut up or I Turn you into CHOCOLATE!
Posts: 579
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Post by Majunks on Apr 7, 2005 9:01:50 GMT -5
So this is what happened between DBZ and Dragonball GT? Krillin and Goku got tampons and free condoms? HAHAHAHAHAHA,... HAHA! Oh screw the laughin. LMAO! That gives me an idea for some reason though. Anyway that was pretty funny...
Side note: Seems more like a DBZ Sitcom than a Parody (Just Saiyan)
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Post by gokusaiyan on Apr 7, 2005 11:26:58 GMT -5
very funny man...i especially enjoyed the beavis and butthead one...
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Post by gokuromario on Apr 7, 2005 14:13:38 GMT -5
thanks, i cant wait to do my next one, it's gonna be fun-e
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Post by gokuromario on Apr 8, 2005 2:59:43 GMT -5
THE GRAND SEARCH
(Trunks and goten play video games up in goten’s room, the day is sunny, and chi-chi is mad because there not enjoying it properly, they are both getting into the game when suddenly trunks receives a text message, goten inadvertently receives one as well, one is from Paris, and one is from Valise who goten met at the parade a few days back)
Goten-(reading the message) “DID U GT ME A GFT 4 MY BIRTHDAY GOTEN, PARTY IS TODAY” (end of message, goten is shocked) “whoa, it’s her birthday already, I thought it was next week”
Trunks-“well I got the same one, except from Paris”
Goten-(wondering) “is it actually possible, that two people with completely different backgrounds could have both there birthdays on exactly the same day”
Trunks-“well judging by this it is, so did you get her something”
Goten-“well” (he has a flashback, of him just about to buy Valise a gift when he sees an all you can eat deal at Chug a Lug) “I was gonna but I kinda got sidetracked”
Trunks-“uh yeah, me too……” (He has another flashback, this time he’s about to buy a gift when a cute girl shows up, he ended up getting slapped that day) “well I guess we better go get gifts”
Goten-“but were on level 17, and no ones got past that level”
Trunks-“goten, what’s more important, a silly little game or getting a gift for our future girlfriends”
Goten-(thinking) “hmm, when you put it that way, they wont be our girlfriends till the future so I’ll have to go with the game”
Trunks-(dragging goten up) “come on”
(They get up from the floor they turn off the console, walk through goten’s house and out the door into the woods, they discuss with each other what to do)
Trunks-(to goten) “ok, so we take nimbus, go to the Mart O Mart, try to find the perfect gift in oh say” (looks at his watch) “12 hours, which I know isn’t a lot of time to shop for a girl but lets face it what is, ok then we buy the gift, go over to the girls house, give it to them and maybe they’ll give us a reward” (they both stop in the middle of the countryside and realize something is missing)
Goten-(looking around) “dude where’s my cloud”
Trunks-(to goten) “where’s your cloud dude”
Goten-“where the heck is my cloud”
Trunks-(looking to the sky) “where’s our ride dude”
Goten-(to trunks) “would you forget about our ride for a sec were looking for my cloud”
Trunks-(thinking) “did you lose it or something?”
Goten-“I don’t think so”
Trunks-(thinking again, man it’s hard for him) “wait, aren’t there some kind of magical words you’re supposed chant in a full sentence or something”
Goten-“oh yeah, I keep forgetting”
Trunks-“happens to the best of us dude”
Goten-(goten prepares himself to do this chant as they say) “NNNNIIIIIMMMMMMBBBBBUUUUUUSSSSSS”
Trunks-(confused) “that’s it, I thought there was more to it” (they look up but nothing appears so far goten tries again but fails) “I think your clouds death dude”
Goten-“death he is not dude, and besides it’s not as if he has an ear to death about”
Trunks-“well, guess we better go find our ride”
Goten-(pauses) “or we can fly there”
Trunks-“oh yeah, why didn’t I think of that, your smart goten”
Goten-“thanks” (he raises himself off the ground, trunks does the same, they fly to their destination, the Mart O Mart, they head through the doors and are greeted by old Boris)
Boris-(smiling) “hello little ones, and how may I help you”
Goten-(pointing) “hey, your that homo guy my dad told me to avoid, how you doin”
Boris-“well I’m just peachy, what can I do you for”
Trunks-(ignorant) “well for starters, you can do us a favor and go away, your dress is creeping me out”
Boris-“well anything the customer desires I shall do” (he walks away from them) “b***”
Goten-(to trunks) “so trunks, what are you gonna get Paris”
Trunks-“well I was thinking of something meaningful, something that will grab her attention”
Goten-(pointing) “hey look there’s a sale on tampons”
Trunks-“goten, girls do not like tampons for there birthday”
Goten-(pointing again) “but it comes with free condoms”
Trunks-(staring) “do you even know what a condom is?”
Goten-(thinking) “uh no but I read it’s something really necessary”
Trunks-(raising and eyebrow) “right”
Goten-(thinking) “how about in scent candles”
Trunks-“nah, little colored sticks that you light on fire, that doesn’t sound safe”
Goten-“ok, what about scented candles”
Trunks-(nods) “now that’s an idea, see how much better that idea is”
Goten-(confused) “what, trading in sticks, for candle sticks”
Trunks-“exactly, it’s a much better idea, now lets go buy them”
Goten-“I really think they might prefer in scent candles”
Trunks-“trust me”
(They go over to the reception to find out if they sell scented candles and find 18 and chi-chi there, they stand in the background)
18-“what do you mean I can’t return these”
Clerk-“I’m sorry madame, it’s against company policy to accept back items that are usually used first”
Chi-chi-“listen, our husbands got us these stupid gifts for our anniversaries which was the day before they bought them, and we want to take them back because we think it’s a stupid gift”
Clerk-“I’m sorry, we cannot give you your money back on tampons and free condoms”
Trunks-“told you girls don’t like that gift”
18-“we’ll just take our story elsewhere then” (they walk off, trunks and goten head up to the desk)
Clerk-(sighs, to goten and trunks) “may I help you”
Trunks-“were looking for scented candles”
Goten-“or scented ones if you don’t have them”
Trunks-(to goten) “were not buying them”
Clerk-(smiling) “well at least some people aren’t afraid to express there sexual preference”
Trunks-(confused) “come again”
Clerk-“oh you will someday”
Goten-“hey, aren’t you that guy at the entrance”
Clerk-“no that’s my other half, my name is Jorgen Der Buttsniff” (goten and trunks let out a loud held back laughter) “alright, I’ve heard it before, so you wanna find the scented candles right, well it’s in aisle twenty-three”
Both-“thanks”
(They head over and start at the 13th aisle, they go to the right and search)
Goten-(counting the aisles) “aisle 14, lingerie and boxers, aisle 15, sweets and kiddy good, aisle 16…….”
Trunks-“are you gonna do that all day”
Goten-“no, just till we get there”
Trunks-“sigh”
Goten-“now where was I aisle 16……..” (they eventually get to aisle 23 and find yamcha working there) “hey, it’s mister yamcha”
Yamcha-(freaked out by seeing someone he knows) “oh, hey guys, uh, how you doin”
Trunks-(looking up at his shirt) “do you work here or somethin”
Yamcha-(almost falling off his ladder) “no I swear, it’s not what you think, I’m just browsing, I swear, and this is the suit I always wear…….”
Trunks-“it’s ok if you work here man, we don’t care”
Goten-“were looking for scented candles for a couple of girls, or in scents if there’s none there (trunks give him a cold stare)”
Yamcha-“oh, you’re not buying them for a different reason”
Trunks-“why does everyone keep saying that”
Yamcha-“uh, no reason, well if it’s scented candles you want for a couple of (does the two fingered curl thing which means they might not be girls) girls then well you’ve come to the right place, there over there by the in scent candles”
Goten-“how ironic”
Trunks-“we are not buying in scent candles”
Yamcha-(smiling) “oh and boys, if you ever need advice on girls, just ask me cause I’m the master of smoothness” (falls off his ladder suddenly) “aw man, my butt”
Trunks-(sarcastic) “well you definitely are the smoothest guy we know” (they let out a laugh)
(They head over to the candles Yamcha breathes a sigh of relief)
Trunks-“and I thought you had to be a Russian cross dresser to work here”
Goten-“who knew”
(They finally find the candles, they head over to the till, pay for them and head out)
Trunks-(at the front exit) “ok, so we go over to the girls house, give them there present, get our reward and enjoy a night of partying” (looks around) “dude where’s your cloud”
Goten-“we didn’t take it with us, remember”
Trunks-“oh yeah, well let’s go then” (they fly off, they finally get to the girls house, identical are these houses and right next to each other they are, weird isn’t it) “wow, I never noticed how much they look alike”
Goten-“yeah, I know, oh well best head in then”
(The two of them head to different doors, they both ring the bell at the same time and two girls appear from either door, both girls look exactly the same except one has brown hair and one has blonde, the boys stare at each girl just to make sure they haven’t got the wrong ones)
Both boys-(to the girls) “happy birthday Paris/Valise”
Both girls-(confused) “do I know you”
Both boys-“GAH, BE RIGHT BACK” (goten and trunks switch places with each other by quickly zooming across the fence) “Happy birthday Paris/Valise”
Both girls-“goten/trunks you made it”
Both boys-“would I let you down”
Both girls-(looking at their gifts at the same time) “is that gift for me”
Both boys-“duh who else”
Both girls-(they both take the gift and open it at the same time, they see the scented candles in the box) “oh this is just lovely but I really prefer in scents” (both boys collapse to the ground, goten gets up immediately followed by trunks who can’t believe it)
Goten-(reaching into his pocket) “don’t worry, I bought that kind too” (produces a packet of in scents, trunks collapses once again)
THE END
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Post by Little Syxx on Apr 8, 2005 6:32:58 GMT -5
For some reason the thought of Yamcha working at a department store is really amusing to me. ;D
Another great parody! I'm really enjoying these.
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Post by gokuromario on Apr 8, 2005 7:05:28 GMT -5
thanks, i'm really just making these up on the spot really, the next one i think will be about goku and vegeta meeting invader zim, sure to be good.
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